been feeling very depressed as of late

[RyanD]

im just writing this to get it out of my system. im looving for some advice maybe some cheering up


ever since ive moved back from college home has just not been the same. my parents got divorced while i was away and since comming back its really taking its toll on me. the eco sucks ass out here so im forced to live with one of my parents. my dad has no room in his house so im forced to live with my mom.

recently my mom got evicted from her apt and now im forced to live with my best friend so i dont really have a place to call home. my mom currently lives with her boyfriends mom until she can save enough to get a place of her own.

i feel like im all alone with almost everything in life. i have a shitty job that pays me just enough to afford gas and insurance let alone cell phone service and oil for the car. i have been trying to get a better job but ive had no luck for a month

my friend has a gf so he does most stuff with her while im left to mope around town lonely for hours on end. i just found out im spending halloween alone.

there is a lot of other emotional shit going on that i cant really explain. im not one to contemplate suicide but it just seems like everything would be better if i just were no around.

i feel like im just a burden on everyone. most time i just want to drive far far away to excape it all but im trapped in my missrable existance.

sorry to post this sob story but i just need to tell somebody.

[Mishakol129]

This suck I know how it is, many people struggle with things like this so you're not alone. Life's not perfect, I think coming to terms with that is what people have such a hard time with, and they get caught up in bad thoughts. But judging a person, a situation, a thing, and event, can profoundly effect how we feel. In reality, our own mental well being depends on how we judge and look at things, people especially. Its about not believing bad things about people, focus too much on the bad, its like we make that rule our lives. Its not like we know everything, its important to realize how much we don't know cause then non of this would have happened. Its from thinking we know it all that we feel depressed.

You can, always become a Christian if you feel that bad about your shortcomings in life lol. Jesus still loves you.

[SilverShadow]

I read your story and I understand....But you are NOT the only one in this hole. Many are; young and old.
I have it worse so feel lucky...yes lucky. You haven't lost too much and you have a big world ahead of you. Don't think so? I will tell you why in a moment...first to show you how you fare in this world to others misery.
I am now 57...not too educated but have a BS from FSU. Couldn't use the degree as I was in education and men were thought of as perverts if they wanted to teach.
Got married and had a kid...got a decent job working on payphones...My wife had Muscular Dytrophy. She got worse....I got worse and had heart problems...got a heart attack while in a company van that was hit and run. Lost job and we had no where to go...motel with a severly disabled wife and a 13 year old. Got $ from accident...moved into an apartment. Apartment went condo ..wife got much worse and was in ICU for 3 months! I in turn had stoke. then the condo I rented was taken to sell. I was sleeping in Honda wagon..son at UCSB. Got my wife into a convalescent and me into a one bedroom with son, wife still in care place. She Passed away almost 1 year next week. I had triple bi-pass. Son moved in with friend and guy I rent from is MASSIVE nerd OCD Mental case!!! But he owns this place and charges me less than $300. Hoards junk mail and new wrapped clothes and wears the same day after day year after year washes it and puts it back on from dryer. So I deal with it.. All my home is in storage...no home...no dog...no cats...no furniture, no books nothing! No wife...no hugs all day. Pain
So you think of your life is that bad? For you it is...I understand. But look at it this way....you are on the freeway behind someone. You think you'll be in that position forever...yet in less that 5 minutes it changes. Life is similar in that it gives you paths to go to. You choose. It's sometimes hard to be in a traffic jam...but the clog is temporary if you just know it will clear up. Ending it all is a drastic solution to a temporary problem. Don't walk down a Boulevard of Broken Dreams....get into something even as dull as going to the library or mall. Strike up a conversation with a girl..all she can say is go away...and you are for now.
Hope you get up to life and get better...I hope I do too. But hoping is not productive....we need to get doing! Good luck! And I'm one on your side of the boulevard.

[mugencivic4dr]

In life, in order to accept it you have to experience the ups and downs of life. if life was suppose to be easy we all would be rich, careless about responsibilities (because we wouldnt have any) and what not. the main thing is, dont worry on whats going on around you. i know it isnt easy with more than one thing happening at once.

i have experience your situation (parents splitting, feeling as if you were a burden) but i have stuggle financially (still am) where i could not really do anything time to time. i also felt to where i would ask God (or myself if you're not religious), why is this happening, or why me? take that extra time you have to go some where and ponder or just zone out to clear your mind, because if you keep thinking of the "bad" things you will never see to positive (in your case, finding a better job so you can be able to be on your own). also try to hang around positive people times like this your true friends come out, meaning the ones that will help you get back on your feet and seeing the ones that really arent friends at all.

as for you looking for a new/better job, its going to take time. i've worked crappy jobs as "in between jobs" and it would take me about 6-12months to find a decent job., but even at that it wasnt that good either. I'll be 32 never week, at 30 i found/came across the job that i found worth investing time into to progress in it. i've been working for 14yrs and the recent past 6 i have been working different jobs trying to find the job (or career) where i can progress and know the time i invest in will be worth it in the end. I guess what i'm trying to say with that is that, you're not going to find a better job right off the bat. its going to take some time (or other jobs to build your resume) to find that good job.

i'm probably just typing random things that you probably be like "what the hell is he talking about". remember this, everything happens for a reason, yes its something that is always said but here's my point of view of that statement. when something bad/unexpected happens it helps you realize things/situations you would of never experienced before. with out that it wouldnt help you or accept life as it is and prepare you for the next time (hoping that there may not be a next time) and/or make you strong for the future. take this part of your life as an experience to look back to and say, "if it wasnt for that i would be where i'm at or see things the way i see it now."

[JDMDriver]

Sorry to hear your story. You definitely are not alone and many have had it worse.

With this financial crisis still lingering many who have had houses lost them, many who had relationships and marriage lost them, many who had jobs lost them. Many who had kids had alot more at stake than you who would only need to look after yourself.

At least your mum and dad are still alive, you have your health and an unstoppable future and hope of getting back in a job without any health problems, seeing your parents without visiting a grave stone and hope for a brighter future without a terminal illness who's due date is coming ever closer. Count your blessings as times may not be the best but it could definitely be worse.

Keeping your confidence, hope and a plan will be what gives you the will to ride out the tough times and will make you tougher when it blows over.

Remember you can volunteer. You will get some self worth, restore some pride and feeling of productivity doing it. As an added bonus you never know what doors that will open but doing so will get you out and about doing something, taking your mind off things and restore some normality by establishing a working routine.

[Fleetw00d]

Head to North Dakota; unemployment is at about 3%. Lots of good paying jobs supporting oil and natural gas production.

[Straight Success]

I've been here as well. My advice... keep your head up. Find something free or cheap to occupy your time.

This may help. Get a $1 composition book. Whenever you are bored or depressed, find things that you would want in life when you become wealthy. Go out and window shop for them. Write every thing down that you want; ignore the prices. Anything you see that you want, write it down (ie. women, jewelry, cars, clothes, vacations, homes, appliances, activities you want to do, etc...). This is a good way to pass time until something works out; it will eventually. Just be patient and have hope.

Once things fall into perspective, open up that book, and acquire everything in it, . I hope this helps.

[Ralphie]

Damn dude, sorry to hear times are hard on you.

I would definitely try to find a hobby or something to occupy your time. Going back to school for a better job might be a good idea. You have the time, and with aid you might be ok.

Im not sure what your education/job status is.

Suicide is never the answer. I know you feel like you're a burden and everyone would be better off without you, but trust me, they would not be.

Sometimes it's hard to see how much you mean to people, but trust me if you weren't around, it would break your parents hearts im sure.

No siblings?

Nevermind- Nevada..

Damn, too far for us to chill lol.

Well just keep your head up and start planning your next move. You're still young, so make the best of this time and use it to your advantage.

[RyanD]

thanks a ton for the help guys. i feel alot better knowing it could be worse.

i guess i will just keep chugging along and work on the cb to pass the time. i need to get a job soon, student loans are comming up

[deevergote]

That really sucks, Ryan.

Since pretty much everything at home has fallen apart, why not search nationwide for work? Find a job anywhere, and just pick up and move?
While things suck as they are now, it's a perfect opportunity to make things better for yourself. I know it's hard to leave everything that's familiar, but there's no better time to do it. Nothing is familiar to you at the moment!

[GeoffM]

Work, go home, get drunk, wake up, work, go home, get drunk. Repeat for the rest of your life.
That's a saddening reality, and most people are going to face it.

My advice? Get the best paying job you can. That way, money becomes less of an issue.
Then you can start enjoying life a lot more. Taking days off in the middle of the week is great too.
Some say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a kayak or a kickass bicycle.

Keep at your job search. Your school should have a career center, and they have jobs.
The job I have now is amazing, and it was through them.
Actually, any job that wasn't retail/minimum wage I've ever got was from them.

[93twodoorLX]

all you can tell yourself sometimes is that things could be worse. and for many out there things ARE worse. count your blessings for lack of a better word. try focusing in on the things that you CAN control first. be proactive in your search towards a better life. If you are not apart of the solution, you are apart of the problem. venting is a good first step towards relieving your anxiety about it all. just look at how many people posted lengthy responses to you post. whether any of it helped or not this is one community that can offer you some support. hope things look up for you buddy

-sean

[RyanD]

i am truly greatful for your support. you guys have made me relize that it could be a lot worse. i cannot thank you enough for the support. wether it's cars or personal problems you all know how to cure

[RyanD]

That really sucks, Ryan.

Since pretty much everything at home has fallen apart, why not search nationwide for work? Find a job anywhere, and just pick up and move?
While things suck as they are now, it's a perfect opportunity to make things better for yourself. I know it's hard to leave everything that's familiar, but there's no better time to do it. Nothing is familiar to you at the moment!

i would love to move. the problem is i just cant stand to be so far away from my family. most of my family live in cali and some live in nevada. i also have friends that care a lot about me.

plus im not making enough to be able to afford to move

[h22sparkle]

find a couple of investors and open up your own business