My brother just hit my mom in the face.

[CB7 Sleeper]

Yes, as it says above. My younger brother who is 15 years old just pushed my mom and hit her in the face and screamed at both of my parents then walked out of the house. My mom is about to walk out, my dad is furious, my mom is begging me not to do anything to him because she doesn't want the cops here again, my parents are both handicapped. Mom has a bad leg, dad a bad back. Now my brother is back in the house because my dad grabbed him. I am about to sit in front of him and ask him to man up and hit me in the face, and I am trying to hold myself from hitting him.

How should I approach him? What should I do? Any ideas?

And I am writing this because I had to leave the room to cool down. Excuse me for being so frank about everything. I'm not gonna let this little ass hole fuck up this family any more than it already is.

[vietkid_2006]

Why did he do that for? did you ask him yet?

Maybe he's going through something, try to listen to him and be understanding.

[deevergote]

Right now, let your parents at least attempt to re-establish control. Don't undermine their authority in the house.

If this is a frequent occurance (if not the hitting, at least the blatant disrespect and anger issues) then perhaps your family should look into counseling. Both for the family as a whole, and for your brother individually. Health insurance covers mental health these days. If both of your parents are handicapped, I'm sure they have insurance.

It would be the best option, rather than simply confronting him. You don't fix a rift in a family with more confrontation. That will only increase the tension, and lead to more problems. Even if it stops it for now, it won't take care of the root of the problem.

[RagingAsian]

First of all, anyone hits my mom, I'll kill them.

Second of all, I think an ass kicking is warranted, youre his brother, beat him straight. I got hit with a 2x4 everytime I fucked up, you learn real quick.

But under no circumstances should a kid hit his mom, thats just fucked up, and is warranted as a ass beating right there.

[ExplodingCake]

Wow just wow.

Verbal argument is understandable but physical contact to a parent is highly unneccesary.

Talk to him with understanding.. Don't increase the flame.

[DJ metadelic]

Wow Kevin.

You should've called me man.

But I don't really know what to tell you. What did your dad do?

[CB7 Sleeper]

Yeah, I haven't done anything yet. I walked back out into the kitchen and sat down and have been listening to the conversation. My parents have established control and have him sitting, and listening.

The blatant disrespect and sarcasm is all still there though. He is arguing with zero back up and no point to his argument. Basically, he is arguing just to argue.

I've had problems with the police in the past, so I don't believe any sort of physical confrontation would be good for me right now. Last time, I got off easy and just had to see a counselor and go to an anger management group, but I wouldn't be that lucky this time around.

I also am A VERY BIG guy. I'm short, but have a lot of fight training under my belt, and I lift a lot as well. I know if I lost control of my anger I could really hurt him, and I don't want to do that right now. He is just a small, average sized kid, and couldn't put up much of a fight. So that's a no go.

I have always been the one with problems in this family, and I'm currently in the process of overcoming some of the emotional/mental issues I have regarding anger and depression. He has no reason to be flipping out. He has a good life, a lot of friends, he never has to do anything around the house, and he is constantly babied and having things handed to him. He is lucky and lives a completely different life than I have had to live in my childhood. This is what I believe is his problem. A lack of discipline lead to his disrespect and irresponsibility.

I am cooled down now, and I know I am going to have to get him in another room a little later and have a talk with him. I need advice though, from you guys. What should I say to him, and how should I go about confronting him on this issue. I want to make an impact, but I don't want this to turn into a fight because I am worried I'll hurt him.

I have a problem controlling myself, I know. When I am angry, I can do some terrible things, and I have. So I need advice on how to have an effect on him, and make him think. He needs to learn. Advice please.

[CB7 Sleeper]

Wow Kevin.

You should've called me man.

But I don't really know what to tell you. What did your dad do?

Dad didn't do much. Just grabbed him and pushed him into the wall. Like I said, dad is disabled and can't really do much. Ever since I fractured my vertebrae lifting, I know my brother has seen how much pain I am in sometimes, and is a little less intimidated of me. I can still hold my own though.

I was thinking about calling you, but I was really angry and didn't want to talk to anybody at the time. I was, at the time, debating on whether or not to hit him and hopefully set him straight.

[CB7 Sleeper]

Oh and deev, yes my parents have insurance. I however, do not. I just lost my medicaid and I will need my back taken care of before anything once I get health insurance again.

My mom has talked about family counseling in the past, and both my mom, and brother used to see a counselor individually in the past.

I have seen counselors and been to therapy and other things in the past, and I refuse to ever see another one again. I'd rather talk to a friend than a stranger face to face about my personal issues. I'm one of those "only god can judge me" characters.

[deevergote]

He's 15... that's what 15 year olds do. Hormones are driving him crazy. He doesn't need an excuse to be angry... he just is. Your parents need to find a way to reestablish control. It's not your place, and you taking control could do more harm than good. Not unless you plan on doing it EVERY time it happens, until one of you takes things too far...


Counseling would seriously benefit your family. Getting to the root of your brother's issues, and either redirecting or controlling the anger, would be an important step. Also, teaching your parents how to handle situations like this.

Right now, he's combative. He's rebelling against your parents' rule over him, and he's winning. What he's fighting about doesn't matter... it's the fact that he's fighting, and they can't do a thing to stop him. Rational thought doesn't have to apply.





Counseling isn't judging. Counseling is guidance. Essentially, it's what I'm doing right now... only I'm far less qualified, and in a less than ideal situation to be doing it.

Counselors, like anyone else... sometimes suck at what they do. It happens. So many people assume that counselors are all the same... and if one failed them, that they all must suck.

[evil_demon_01]

Ring to cops to come take him, Get them to lock him up in the cells for a night.
I'll bet that will calm him down.

Its bad enough when people fight in general, but When its your own family it's different.
The fact that he's 15 says hes at the age of pushing boundaries, If he gets away with it, it will keep happening.

[deevergote]

Ring to cops to come take him, Get them to lock him up in the cells for a night.
I'll bet that will calm him down.

Its bad enough when people fight in general, but When its your own family it's different.
The fact that he's 15 says hes at the age of pushing boundaries, If he gets away with it, it will keep happening.

Actually, that's probably the best advice. If he wants to act like an adult, let him be treated like an adult. You punch someone in the face as an adult, you face legal consequences.

Of course, at 15, they may not haul him away.

[CB7 Sleeper]

Ring to cops to come take him, Get them to lock him up in the cells for a night.
I'll bet that will calm him down.

Its bad enough when people fight in general, but When its your own family it's different.
The fact that he's 15 says hes at the age of pushing boundaries, If he gets away with it, it will keep happening.

This is the issue. We don't need the cops showing up here any more. My parents got that enough out of me, and I don't want my brother ending up like me.

[CB7 Sleeper]

He's 15... that's what 15 year olds do. Hormones are driving him crazy. He doesn't need an excuse to be angry... he just is. Your parents need to find a way to reestablish control. It's not your place, and you taking control could do more harm than good. Not unless you plan on doing it EVERY time it happens, until one of you takes things too far...


Counseling would seriously benefit your family. Getting to the root of your brother's issues, and either redirecting or controlling the anger, would be an important step. Also, teaching your parents how to handle situations like this.

Right now, he's combative. He's rebelling against your parents' rule over him, and he's winning. What he's fighting about doesn't matter... it's the fact that he's fighting, and they can't do a thing to stop him. Rational thought doesn't have to apply.





Counseling isn't judging. Counseling is guidance. Essentially, it's what I'm doing right now... only I'm far less qualified, and in a less than ideal situation to be doing it.

Counselors, like anyone else... sometimes suck at what they do. It happens. So many people assume that counselors are all the same... and if one failed them, that they all must suck.

I understand deev, and this is good advice. They currently do have control, and progress is being made.

I really just want to have a talk with him about respect, and hitting his own mother, as well as hitting a woman in general.

I don't want him ending up with the issues I have. He is a better kid than that, and he has the potential to go far in his life. He just needs to get his shit in line.

[DJ metadelic]

Once he's simmered down, pull him aside, and in a non combative way, confront him.

Explain that you've been through a lot, and been in a lot of trouble in your younger years as well. He probably knows about most of it, but show that you understand where he's coming from.

Ask him what's going through his mind, and why he chose to make the decision he did. He knows it's disrespectful to physically attack a parent or loved one, but right now he probably doesn't care much.

Tell him it's man on man, and not to fight-but to be as grown up as possible and talk it out. It just may work.