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I need someone to talk to

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    #1

    I need someone to talk to

    So, can I talk to yous fuckers??

    This is kind of embarrassing, but, I'm drunk, so I don't care.

    Ok, as some of you may or may not know, I've been taking Yoga to be a little more flexible. Well, I was at home the other day, thought I was home alone, but, I was sorely mistaken. Well, anyhow, I was sitting on the edge of the bed trying to see how limber I really was... well, as some of you know, I haven't been gettin a lot of action, so, I was... *god this is embarrassing* I was trying to service myself. About the time I thought I was getting close, the fiance walks in, sees me, screams "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"?!?! needless to say, I got scared, fell off the bed. As I'm falling, my head goes thru the wall. We now have a hole in the wall the size of my head, and I have a HUGE goose egg/gash on my forehead.

    We start counseling next week.

    The end!
    Tags: None
    #2
    lol this has to be a joke

    Comment

      #3
      do you think your wife knew you were ghey?

      on the stairs, she grabs my arm, says whats up,
      where you been, is something wrong?
      i try to just smile, and say everything’s fine.

      Comment

        #4
        "I'd like to try to orally stimulate my own penis, but I can't quite reach it. How can I do that, and is it normal to want to try?

        It's very common to want to do this. (There's an old joke that goes, "Why do dogs lick themselves? Because they can.") Actually doing it, though, is another question. Your penis has to be especially long (like over 8"), or you have to be especially limber, to succeed. Some guys are able to reach their penis by doing a backwards somersault and stopping in mid-roll. However, we must caution you to be careful when doing this. We heard from one fellow who wanted so badly to suck his own penis, he strained his back and had to be taken to the hospital — extremely embarrassing! Never perform any technique that makes you contort your body in an uncomfortable manner — you might be very sorry you did."

        www.jackinworld.com

        This is actually kinda funny. Not sure why you need counseling...You were curious. Although i could see why she would think this is weird or odd, if youre in counseling its cuz she questions your sanity, sexuality or is contemplating divorce.

        IMO.


        KeepinItClean | EnviousFilms | NoBigDeal | YET2BSCENE | .· ` ' / ·. | click here.
        Originally posted by Jarrett
        Is there a goal you're trying to accomplish besides looking dope as hell?

        Comment

          #5
          it's an easy win in counseling if you ask me.

          She's obviously neglecting your penis to the point where you feel like giving your self a little help.

          It's her fault you got this man if anything that counseling will get you more head from the fiance.

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by 92jdm View Post
            lol this has to be a joke
            agree

            but that does sounds pretty funny.
            there should be no need for counseling thought.

            Originally posted by visualpoet
            some owners think it's the best thing since titties

            Comment

              #7
              hilarious, this is why i dont drink hahaaaaaaa
              can't please everybody.

              I don't want to hear it. I want fogs!

              MRT
              http://www.cb7tuner.com/vbb/showthread.php?t=129461

              Comment

                #8
                Just an update. I'm on the wagon again... vodka is good, vodka is grand. I get no sex, thank god for hands.

                Oh, and before ya ask, no, I didn't leave my computer signed on. This is me.

                By the way, since the fiance yelled at me, her "cuddle bear" is now a starched cuddle bear. God damn it, it's got enough dna on it to film 3 episodes of CSI. HAHA!! that'll learn her.

                I'm off like a new bride's panties. But, have no fear, I shall return. Drunk, of course!!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Right.....

                  This should make for very awkward meets....


                  KeepinItClean | EnviousFilms | NoBigDeal | YET2BSCENE | .· ` ' / ·. | click here.
                  Originally posted by Jarrett
                  Is there a goal you're trying to accomplish besides looking dope as hell?

                  Comment

                    #10
                    wait you have a fiance and getting no action? what? or did i just read this wrong?
                    Accord SE


                    93se
                    Members Ride
                    Bought from: H22wagon93, Theos92VR4, Hondafan81, Father Time, DarkHusk, Gunrunner, FamousFreak
                    Sold to: sulimed, BurtonRiderT6, tishock

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by mappyCB7 View Post
                      it's an easy win in counseling if you ask me.

                      She's obviously neglecting your penis to the point where you feel like giving your self a little help.

                      It's her fault you got this man if anything that counseling will get you more head from the fiance.
                      ya maybe true but what girl would want a guy that tried to suck their own penis. i mean maybe she will understand. but i doubt it. but like my othre response im confused cuz i know if i had a fiance i would be getting more than enough action.
                      Accord SE


                      93se
                      Members Ride
                      Bought from: H22wagon93, Theos92VR4, Hondafan81, Father Time, DarkHusk, Gunrunner, FamousFreak
                      Sold to: sulimed, BurtonRiderT6, tishock

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Ok, I didn't wanna say this yet. But, this was all the ramblings of me when I was drunk. This didn't actually happen. It just came to me last night as I was sitting at my computer, drinking.

                        Thanks for playing, unfortunately I don't have any going away gifts

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Originally posted by mappyCB7 View Post
                          it's an easy win in counseling if you ask me.

                          She's obviously neglecting your penis to the point where you feel like giving your self a little help.

                          It's her fault you got this man if anything that counseling will get you more head from the fiance.
                          Originally posted by nine_deuce View Post
                          Ok, I didn't wanna say this yet. But, this was all the ramblings of me when I was drunk. This didn't actually happen. It just came to me last night as I was sitting at my computer, drinking.

                          Thanks for playing, unfortunately I don't have any going away gifts
                          lol i hope you didnt suck your thang..
                          or is this just a cover up!!!

                          pl i say we make a poll to see if we give him the benifit of the doubt or not
                          Accord SE


                          93se
                          Members Ride
                          Bought from: H22wagon93, Theos92VR4, Hondafan81, Father Time, DarkHusk, Gunrunner, FamousFreak
                          Sold to: sulimed, BurtonRiderT6, tishock

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Lmao!!
                            Cappuccino Member #9<--- click for thread


                            ^click for MRT^
                            CB9 MRT-R.I.P.
                            Coupe MRT

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Originally posted by nine_deuce View Post
                              Ok, I didn't wanna say this yet. But, this was all the ramblings of me when I was drunk. This didn't actually happen. It just came to me last night as I was sitting at my computer, drinking.

                              Thanks for playing, unfortunately I don't have any going away gifts
                              Sad?
                              South Texas M_thaf_cka, that's where I stay!

                              Check out my Frost White CB
                              http://www.cb7tuner.com/vbb/showthre...ight=SpdJnky93

                              Comment

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