need your views on this

[stewie]

okay, having a conversation with the gf, and a convo came up that got heaty.

here it is.

if we are both together in a healthy relationship, should we both be allowed to go off and have sex with others AS LONG as we both come home to each other at night? can never have sex with someone twice, and after the first time, we never are allowed to talk to them again.

now...when we first talked about it...i was like hahaha whoa that shit would be awesome...but then she tells me that theres a guy at her work, a swinger, whos like 25 years older then her, and hes apparently hella attracted to her. so thats how all this convo came up. but after hearing that some random guy just wants to bone my gf...i started thinking like...fuck that...i have too much respect for you to just let you go off and be some swingers night candy. then she started getting bitchy at me being like "your so fucking controlling, im not going to do it, but not because of you, because i dont want to" i really didnt care what she had to say after that...after all....a woman pretty much ANY woman, can go out to a bar or club, snap her fingers and say, "who wants to have sex" and 20 guys will come running...where as a guy would have to try oh so much harder...


so your opinions...would you guys be willing to go into an open relationship with someone you care deeply about? knowing that when she goes out for "coffee" shes actually having coffee naked and getting fucked??

i already told her...if i find out shes fuckin other guys im straight up walking away(hahaha which would fuck her finacially hahaha), dont worry, i know shes not...im with her like 24/7 except when shes at work. but yeah...your guys opinions?

[verothacamaro]

if we are both together in a healthy relationship, should we both be allowed to go off and have sex with others AS LONG as we both come home to each other at night?

[Father Time]

i already told her...if i find out shes fuckin other guys im straight up walking away

This would be my answer right here. I am not one for open relationships. I have seen too many fail, and fail BAD!

[stewie]

yes, thats why im against it. i find it stupid. yet she thinks that she might be "happier" knowing that she could have me, yet still go out and have fun, fun as if she never grew up.

but dont you worry, i guess ill keep ya'll updated about what happens lol, would suck if we break up over this...cause we just bought a new truck..well...not new...96 tacoma, 5 speed, LIFTED HIGH, steel bumpers 36" mudders....

[d112crzy]

Fuck that shit. I woulda slapped her for even thinking about it.

[stewie]

yes, but at the same time, dont forget, NOBODY is perfect, most guys have cheated on their gf's, most people think that as long as their spouse dosnt find out about it, it cant hurt them...well...this is the same thing i guess...only the spouse knows...

and p.s im not going to lie nor hide it, in the past ive been a douche and yes i have cheated in the past. all my friends have, i dont think ive met to many people who HAVN'T cheated...weather it be a kiss...or sex

[MikeW]

I might be biased on this, cuz ive been cheated on by my chick before, but...

1. My chick was 100% reliant on me for everything. A place to live, money, etc. and she STILL did the shit. So her reliability on you aint really gonna stop her from doing it.

2. If she's telling you about him, and he likes her, it means:
--A)he's told her and she wants to do him
-OR-
--B)she's already done him and just wants to justify doing it in case she gets caught

Now IMHO, you cant care deeply about a girl and be in a relationship together, and sleep with other ppl. Even if you dont ever speak to them. If youre sleeping with other ppl its cuz the sex is no good or your getting tired of the relationship.

Id try and find some other way to change things up. See if she's down for getting a gf of hers to do a 3some with you guys. Or if your down, see if she'll let you and another guy fuck her. Whatever. Change it up one small step at a time.

I just think its an oxymoron to say "healthy relationship" and "have sex with other ppl" in the same sentence.

I mean some couples can pull it off, but IMO, it sounds like she really wants to fuck other ppl but doesnt want you to do the same.

Sounds like you need to talk more in depth and find out whats really going on and find out what she really wants...

GL with it and i hope you guys find a healthy outcome.

[stewie]

I might be biased on this, cuz ive been cheated on by my chick before, but...

1. My chick was 100% reliant on me for everything. A place to live, money, etc. and she STILL did the shit. So her reliability on you aint really gonna stop her from doing it.

2. If she's telling you about him, and he likes her, it means:
--A)he's told her and she wants to do him
-OR-
--B)she's already done him and just wants to justify doing it in case she gets caught

Now IMHO, you cant care deeply about a girl and be in a relationship together, and sleep with other ppl. Even if you dont ever speak to them. If youre sleeping with other ppl its cuz the sex is no good or your getting tired of the relationship.

Id try and find some other way to change things up. See if she's down for getting a gf of hers to do a 3some with you guys. Or if your down, see if she'll let you and another guy fuck her. Whatever. Change it up one small step at a time.

I just think its an oxymoron to say "healthy relationship" and "have sex with other ppl" in the same sentence.

I mean some couples can pull it off, but IMO, it sounds like she really wants to fuck other ppl but doesnt want you to do the same.

Sounds like you need to talk more in depth and find out whats really going on and find out what she really wants...

GL with it and i hope you guys find a healthy outcome.

ahhh

a post that helps. well...#1 she hasnt fucked him, the guy sent her an email and she showed it to me. its basically saying that since he works with her, hes not allowed to touch her (his wife wont let him) due to the whole "cant see them anymore after sex" rule. and its not that she wants to fuck other guys, shes just at a point where she wants to...try things....like shes down for a 3some.......but with 1 rule, we can do it with 2 chicks...but then she wants to do it with 2 guys....so to some degree im okay...like if im there and shes there....like...the point where it crossed the line for me was when she started talking about going off on her own to have sex...like...if me and her go out with a couple and end up having like a 4 way...id have NO problem wiht that...we'd both be there, doing it together..

and dont forget, nothing happend, this was just a heaty convo we had.

if you want a REAL heaty convo that led to stuff, you should seen the one i had the other day when she decided to not wait for the train thing to come up and just plow into it wiht my trucks push bar...

[drew12000]

if your gonna do it like this. you might as well be single and do what and who you want with no worries. good luck

[stewie]

ya'll are making it sound as if this is actually happening.

this was just a convo that came up, shes not nor am i going ot be fucking other people. we both know that.

im just a lil curious as to if it was YOUR gf that said that to you, would you go along wiht the ride? or what would you guys do.

[MikeW]

ahhh

a post that helps. well...#1 she hasnt fucked him, the guy sent her an email and she showed it to me. its basically saying that since he works with her, hes not allowed to touch her (his wife wont let him) due to the whole "cant see them anymore after sex" rule. and its not that she wants to fuck other guys, shes just at a point where she wants to...try things....like shes down for a 3some.......but with 1 rule, we can do it with 2 chicks...but then she wants to do it with 2 guys....so to some degree im okay...like if im there and shes there....like...the point where it crossed the line for me was when she started talking about going off on her own to have sex...like...if me and her go out with a couple and end up having like a 4 way...id have NO problem wiht that...we'd both be there, doing it together..

and dont forget, nothing happend, this was just a heaty convo we had.

if you want a REAL heaty convo that led to stuff, you should seen the one i had the other day when she decided to not wait for the train thing to come up and just plow into it wiht my trucks push bar...

Well, the thing about work is, depending on where they work, their spouses cant see them doing it and they can lie and say nothing is happening. All you need is a closet/bathroom and like 5 minutes. Shit they could do it in the car on their lunch break.

As for the 3some, it may be cool seeing your chick fuck another chick and you with your gf and another girl, but imagine watching her get fucked by another guy. Its different when you dont have to see it, let alone be there. A 3some with a couple and another dude..the bf has to be really cool and prepared for what hes about to see.

What would bother me is where she brought up the idea of going out on her own...

That means she's not happy. Period. Either your just not doing it, or your doing it, but its getting bland[sp?]. I would talk to her about the 3some things first. If shes cool and its a chick shes comfy with, go for it. Then find a guy friend of yours who your comfy with(and make sure he knows it may be a one time deal/not a free pass). As far as the group thing goes, that goes back to the whole "watching her get fucked" thing. Yeah your fucking a new girl, but she's fucking a new guy. And shes probably enjoying it more than the sex with you....

The thing with 3somes is, it opens a new door for one of the partners. If you involve another girl, its intro'd new pussy for you to possibly like. Likewise with a new dude. She may like him better, therefore searching him out or giving her an excuse to have another 3some with him.

Careful that both outside parties know that its a one-time thing or a "we'll call you" thing. That way your buddy isnt coming over while youre at work, for a quickie or a BJ from her.


Now, if your both cool with the alternating 3some thing, great.

The only safe way is that you dont know anything about the girls except names, and she doesnt know anything about the guy excepts names. That way neither of you can get ahold of them if you like them. And as you mentioned, once you have a 3some with one person, you cant have another 3some with them again. But eventually you'll run out of ppl you know and you'll both have to start asking strangers.

Have you guys tried like different stuff on your own? Like risky sex(public places) or outside, in a pool, in the car, dresing up, roleplaying...stuff like that??

Might give that a try. Id like to know how this all works out, but in the meantime i suggest sitting her down and telling her to open up more and find out what she wants to do. ANd if any of it makes you feel uncomfortable, tell her. And tell her the same. If she gets uneasy about something to tell you.

[MikeW]

ya'll are making it sound as if this is actually happening.

this was just a convo that came up, shes not nor am i going ot be fucking other people. we both know that.

im just a lil curious as to if it was YOUR gf that said that to you, would you go along wiht the ride? or what would you guys do.

Ive done the 3some with my gf before. She has cheated on me, but shes not into 2dudes at once so



Now if she said she wants to go out and have sex with other ppl, and the rules you listed....I dunno..

Id be down at first cuz id be getting something new, but i couldnt help but think about her out fucking some other guy....Especially if she went out to fuck some guy on a night that i was staying home...thatd be weird...

"hey im going out to meet up with _______....you ok for the night..?"

"Oh sure...i'll be fine here by myself while youre out getting fucked by some other dudes cock..."

Yeah.....i couldnt do that shit....

[stewie]

Well, the thing about work is, depending on where they work, their spouses cant see them doing it and they can lie and say nothing is happening. All you need is a closet/bathroom and like 5 minutes. Shit they could do it in the car on their lunch break.

As for the 3some, it may be cool seeing your chick fuck another chick and you with your gf and another girl, but imagine watching her get fucked by another guy. Its different when you dont have to see it, let alone be there. A 3some with a couple and another dude..the bf has to be really cool and prepared for what hes about to see.

What would bother me is where she brought up the idea of going out on her own...

That means she's not happy. Period. Either your just not doing it, or your doing it, but its getting bland[sp?]. I would talk to her about the 3some things first. If shes cool and its a chick shes comfy with, go for it. Then find a guy friend of yours who your comfy with(and make sure he knows it may be a one time deal/not a free pass). As far as the group thing goes, that goes back to the whole "watching her get fucked" thing. Yeah your fucking a new girl, but she's fucking a new guy. And shes probably enjoying it more than the sex with you....

The thing with 3somes is, it opens a new door for one of the partners. If you involve another girl, its intro'd new pussy for you to possibly like. Likewise with a new dude. She may like him better, therefore searching him out or giving her an excuse to have another 3some with him.

Careful that both outside parties know that its a one-time thing or a "we'll call you" thing. That way your buddy isnt coming over while youre at work, for a quickie or a BJ from her.


Now, if your both cool with the alternating 3some thing, great.

The only safe way is that you dont know anything about the girls except names, and she doesnt know anything about the guy excepts names. That way neither of you can get ahold of them if you like them. And as you mentioned, once you have a 3some with one person, you cant have another 3some with them again. But eventually you'll run out of ppl you know and you'll both have to start asking strangers.

Have you guys tried like different stuff on your own? Like risky sex(public places) or outside, in a pool, in the car, dresing up, roleplaying...stuff like that??

Might give that a try. Id like to know how this all works out, but in the meantime i suggest sitting her down and telling her to open up more and find out what she wants to do. ANd if any of it makes you feel uncomfortable, tell her. And tell her the same. If she gets uneasy about something to tell you.

kk, first thing i gotta say, 5 minutes for her...wont happen...if shes not turned on...then no sex at all...for her...unless shes going to get off, its not worth it...and trust me..ive always gotten her off...shes had a lot of bf's in the past, and shes told me countless times that im the only one whos ever been able to get her off this much. secondly, i guess you could say i brought up the convo...or at least started it..we were on our bed joking around..and she said somethin like "god thats a face only a mother could love" (i was pretending to be retarded and trying to kiss her) and i was like meh whatever, ill go get mah jollies from other women. and shes said the same thing...only with men though haha. and then she was like,
her - "you know what, there is a guy at work who is attracted to me"
me - "uh...so?"
her - "no i mean he told me hes a swinger, and that he wants me"
me - "uhh...wtf? whad you say? he does know you have a serious relationship goin on right?"
her - "yeah he knows, but hes not gettin anywhere, do you ever think it would be fun to be swingers?"
me - "what you mean like i could go fuck other broads without getting in trouble???? tha'd be sweeet hahaha"

and then i thought...wait...other guys will be railing you...no it wouldnt be sweet. hahahaa

[MikeW]

exactly....If my girl told me: "you can bang other chicks and i wont care.."

Id shit the bed!

but if she added: "but i get to fuck other guys too..."

No way. I couldnt do it, and id tell her i couldnt do it. If she was ok with that, then end of story, but if she started asking me "why not" etc, id start being concerned as to WHY she wants to fuck other ppl. I'll admit(probably with most guys) pussy is pussy. Some is great, most is good, and some is bad. I just get attached to the girl who owns the vagina

To put it this way...after i found out my chick cheated on me, i couldnt have sex with her for like 2 months. I mean, some other dudes dick had been inside her. Thats just weird to think about. And its hard NOT thinking about it. Ive gotten over it, but i still sometimes think about it, ya know...

Being swingers requires you to only like them for their company and for there goals and companionship[sp?]. Once you start getting all emo over somebody, its hard to let them just go out and fuck somebody else, even if you get to fuck other ppl too.

Isnt it weird how id have absolutely NO problem letting one of my girl's friends give me head, even while she was there, but theres NO way in hell id let her suck some other guys dick...???



Double-edged sword bro...

[slammed4thgen]

Fuck that shit. I woulda slapped her for even thinking about it.

x2 on the smack a hoe.


you are a perfect example of a stereotypical guy.

you cant have you cake and eat it too, or at least without someone else eating your girls cake also. lol that is bad...

not to mention if you guys cared for each other than why would you put yourselves in danger of disease and disgust

best of luck