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    Sleeeeep

    what music, if any, do you listen to while relaxing slash falling asleep.

    Too Short - Freaky Tales

    incase you've never heard it.

    ah hem

    I met this girl, her name was joan
    She loved the way I rocked the microphone
    When I met joan, I took her home
    She was just like a doggy all on my bone
    I met another girl, her name was ann
    All she wanted was to freak with a man
    When I met ann, I soked her pans
    We ended up freakin by garbage can
    The next young freak I met was red
    I took her to the house and she gave me head
    She likes to freak was all she said
    We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed
    Theres another girl, her name is mary
    Talked about sex and the girl acted scary
    I heard she was freakin for my homeboy jerry
    Took her to the house and I popped that cherry
    Young and tender, sweet denise
    Get her in the bed and the girls a beast
    I tell you, homeboy, if you get a piece
    She only talks about signin a lease
    I met this tender, her name was lori
    And a x-rated movie wouldnt tell her story
    She had a twinsister, her name was lisa
    And just like lori, shes a real dick pleaser
    My girlfriends name was michelle, I freaked her well
    Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell
    I geed this girl, her name was tammy
    I didnt wanna do it cause the bitch was flammy
    She had a best friend, her name was jane
    I pulled to the side and I spitted that game
    I met a lot of freaks in my lifespine
    Freaked one night with a girl named pam
    The very next day I saw her with her man
    One week passed and I was in her again
    I had an old tender, her name was janie
    She was thirty-two and I was only eighteen
    She likes to freak, shes just a fiend
    It really didnt matter when I saw her in jeans
    I wanna big freak, fat and slobby
    I kick on back and I watch her mouth
    Two tons of fun, big mama jama
    A country-girl from alabama
    I met this girl, her name was betty
    Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death
    I was tired as hell, I was drippin sweat
    But I was all up in her tryin to hold my breath
    Bake and shake us, I met this freak in vegas
    She said her name was donna
    She was a pitty little freak from china
    I said I dont pimp or gigolo
    Im havin so much money that I dont need a hoe
    You can break yourself but you cant break me
    You never met a player like $hort, baby
    I knew a dick sucker named betty-jo
    Took her to my home and we did it on the floor
    The girl got freaky and I tell you more:
    She was down on her knees beggin to blow
    Shes like another freak named ren`
    You get her alone and shell make your day
    Like burger king, she knows the play
    But a freak like ren`, you can have it your way...

    These are the tales, the freaky tales...
    These are the tales that I tell so well...

    I met this girl, thick as hell
    Only sixteen, said her name was linell
    I took her to my house, I could not wait
    Her shit was much tighter than central safe
    Let me tell you this since we talkin young
    I met another girl, said her name was yvonne
    Always talkin about havin fun
    Once again in the bed I got it goin on
    Im sir too $hort, couldnt be no punk
    I try to get funky like female funk
    So when you see me comin or see me goin
    I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin
    I once met a tender, she did it for free
    On the foothill bust number forty-three
    All the way on the back she was workin me
    Had my big beatbox and I was jammin the beat
    I met this freak named aunt winell
    Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet
    Everythin she had is what I get
    Cause Im too $hort, baby, I dont play that shit
    I met another freak, her name was rita
    Baby thought that $hort just might eat her
    I told her like this, she can suck my peter
    Or even go home cause I knew I didnt need her
    Scratched her name off my telephone book
    Never again I took a second look
    Cause the next young freak, her name was sharon
    She kept lookin, well, I kept stairin
    Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin
    She never left, she cutted out
    I know you all know what Im talkin about
    Theres a freak named shane, such a sinner
    She smokes that pipe and shes gettin thinner
    Shane is cool but her mind is gone
    One fat rock and its goin on
    She had another buddy, came by my place
    Thick ass bitch, said her name was grace
    She walked in the door wearin a lace
    You shoulda seen that look that was on my face
    Shes like this tender named belinda
    Homeboys call her belinda the blender
    She gave head like she made it up
    She was twenty years old with a big round butt
    Had a girl slick like olive oil
    Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled
    When she got mad he blood would boil
    But I rapped her off like Im lookin a toy...

    These are the tales, the freaky tales...
    The tales that I tell so well...

    Shockedy life, friday night, its goin on too $hort
    Three weeks ago I met this freak
    She followed me around like marys sheep
    I hitted around the corner and when she came
    I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name
    She said it was nina and her mans in santa rita
    I took her to my home and homeboy, I geed her
    Set her on the way the very next way
    Playboy $hort was ready to play
    I bumped to this girl, her name was roseanne
    We hitted the motel and got it goin on
    Holiday inn to the break of dawn
    When I took baby home, I freaked her mom
    I knew this tender named shanie
    I took her to the house and let her freak on me
    Baby was a fan, she loved my beat
    But I wouldnt raise my leg to let her kiss my feet
    I met this freak named yolanda
    Rolled baby doll like a brand new honda
    I was on top and she was up under
    The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder
    I once had a datewith girl named kitty
    She was so fine with big fat tiddies
    All night long she was actin shitty
    So I macked on baby like I was frank nitti
    Theres another girl, her name is rose
    I use to roll baby like brand new volvos
    I never saw rose wearin clothes
    Shes a pimp house pet, ready to pose
    I was ridin down the street when I met janet
    Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet
    Ass everywhere, I just cant stand it
    Tried to poem it but I could not manage
    I had this freak, her name was bunny
    Said I was the only man who ever called her honey
    Everythin I did to her was funny
    I macked on bunny and I took her money
    Eight tonight a date with shirlie
    She was really short and her hair was curly
    If you saw baby you liked this girlie
    She was so fine I went to get her early
    Shirlie was freakin like a girl named rachel
    Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal
    She liked to kiss all on my neval
    Those are her lips on top of my label
    I knew another freak, her name was candy
    Real big lips and they came in handy
    I smooth got worked and it was so dandy
    I hooked the brood up with my homeboy randy
    He did me a favor in return
    Gave me a lizard, said her name was laverne
    Baby got tossed and I got it on
    I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song
    My young homeboy heard me rap
    And said he had way more freaks than that
    So I told him like this: they might be freakin
    But, boy, you never had that t-p-treatment...

    goddamn this song is long.

    Claire - '92 Mercedes-Benz 500E - AMG&Bilstein Treatment - The Wolf in Sheep's clothing.

    Alice - '97 BMW 540i6 - Dinan Tuned. - Low Profile Weekend Warrior.

    Felicia - '11 Ford Fusion - Luxury Package - Daily.. daily.. ugh.


    Originally posted by JoshM
    Okay to do: "I'm sorry I broke your mailbox, here's $100.
    NOT okay to do: "I'm sorry I fucked your sister, here's $100.
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