My life has completely flipped upside down..

[rebels]

I've been trying to hold it in and not let it bother me, but I can't.

It's not as bad as I thought but the worst thing was told to me Saturday night when I was closing down at work.

Things have been completely normal for the past year or so, other than some unfortunate events that have happened this year, but I could tell something was wrong when I listened to a voicemail my father left me while I was occupied at work.

I talked to my mom earlier that day and she was just asking the normal questions about things going on in my life. How the job is going, how my car is doing, how my friends are.. the usual. I tell her I'm going to be taking a few more classes for business managment and she told me to tell her the amount of my books since she does pay for those. Everything seemed fine.

I call my dad back on Saturday night, same day my mother called me, and the sound of his voice is stuck in the back of my mind and I'm sure it will be.

Dad.. I'm returning your call. What's up?

Well, it's kind of hard to say this and I don't really now how to say it in a nice way but your mom isn't living here and hasn't been since the end of June.

... my heart sunk to the bottom of my body. My parents are my best friends.. they know EVERYTHING about me and EVERYTHING I have done in my life. Illegal, legal, bad choices, good choices.. everything. I'm their only child and NOT ONE THING ever indicated this to happen.

I cried for hours that night talking to my dad. My dad is a big guy, football player style.. and I've only seen him cry 3 times to be honest. One, when I left for college and eventually moved to Florida. Two, when his best friend from childhood died. Three, Saturday night.

I'm still so screwed up in the head right now and don't know how to deal with this. I'm still doing my normal things like I always do when it comes to my daily routine.. work, friends, going out.. but it's hard to look at the pictures of my family knowing it may never be the same.

Basically, it was my mom's idea to leave for the time being and she is getting help.. my dad didn't think he needed to but I told him to do it for me. I'm trying to help them out as much as I can and still maintain my normal life style. I really hope things work out and go back to how they were.

I know whatever happens will be for the best, but it RIPPED me open inside. They just celebrated their 26th year anniversay of marriage.. and again this is nothing I ever saw coming.

I'll keep you guys updated with this situation.

If you could just say a small prayer for me and my parents. This has completely crushed my father, as well as me.. and it's not too easy for my mom either. It's hard for me to talk to them in the same manner I could for the past 22 years of my life.

I would greatly appreciate this.

[Fr0z3N]

Wow man thats hard, my best wishes for you. If you don't mind me asking, what's she getting help for?

[floored]

I know we didnt get along before and I truly dont mean to sound like an ass, but nothing last forever. Im sure this is hurting you and I know how it feels kinda. My parents were never realluy together but I was devistated when I tried to get back with my daughters mom and she didnt want to. i thought for sure even if we could get along n try then it would all be fine. But like I said nothing last forever Im sure things will end up fine for you(s) possibly even how they were but if not everything will still be fine.

[blk93]

ive been deailing with divorce issues all of my life, so i understand what youre going through

sometimes i just want to know what it feels like to have a family at all

my father is always here for me, but its hard having different step moms and step dads all the time

try and not let things get t you, its real easy to get stuck in the middle in situations like this

ive been the middle man messenger boy for too long, it caused me many problems and stopped me from having my cb7 for two years, but thats far less important

i hope everything is good for you, maybe this was for the best

[phatdoughnut]

My mom and dad were gona get divorced once upon a time cause he was an alcoholic and abusive. Well when i talked to my mom she said that my dad would always be my dad no matter what and she would always be my mom no matter what.

Probably doesnt help, but you know what can you do? they are adults.

like negro93 said, having step parents is the hardest part.

[rebels]

Wow man thats hard, my best wishes for you. If you don't mind me asking, what's she getting help for?

Basically because she let stuff bottle up for a while inside and it just exploded and this is what caused her to need time alone. I'm not 100% sure. There is NO way I'm taking sides because this IS something that can be worked out.. and if not it'll still be on a mutual friendship level.

I told both of my parents I'm not really involved in this. I'm on the verge of another promotion, which I'm not trying to sound cocky, but it'll be leaving me in tripple digits for the yearly income. I've worked very hard the past two years and this IS putting more stress on me, but I need to just duke it out and let time take its course.

Floored, I know things will be fine.. but just thinking about the future events is what makes me think differently and feel shitty. I was planning on flying both of them and myself to Colorado this Christmas for a skiing trip.. but this doesn't look good now. Also, IF and when I ever get married.. not seeing them together as a couple there will hurt. Same with kids later on down the road.. "do you want to go to Grandma's house or Grandpa's house?" That sucks.

Again, this is just a vent and what not. I WILL be fine. Something I never thought would happen, did.. but who knows where it'll lead?

[rebels]

My mom and dad were gona get divorced once upon a time cause he was an alcoholic and abusive. Well when i talked to my mom she said that my dad would always be my dad no matter what and she would always be my mom no matter what.

Probably doesnt help, but you know what can you do? they are adults.

like negro93 said, having step parents is the hardest part.

I agree. They'll ALWAYS be my parents and I will never treat them differently and I will still love them as much as I have for the past 22 years of my life.

Accepting changes is hard, though.

[souldoubt]

i can relate to how your parents feel. my son is 6 ( i know not close to your age but same situation) he asked me why me and him mom are not togeather, it's hard to explane to a child being young or grown why their parents split. i'm sure your parents feel like they've let you down, and have alot of guilt for it.
if you take anything from me in any advise i give, take this.
they are still your parents, nothing will ever change that, the love they have for you is just as strong as it was the day you were born. as much as it hurts you and the feeling of being lost sits inside you, trust me, your parents feel the same. they need you just as much as you need them right now. show them support in the decision they have have made, it may not be what you want, but in the end the support you give, will be the support you get in return. keep your head up. what you need to do is focus ALL of you attention on your parent and helping them through the hardest choice they have ever made.

remember, falimy is the onlything that maters when time get hard.

chin up, adam. we're here for you.

[aero]

Dang man, I am sorry to hear that. My parents were close to the same thing, and just getting a taste of it sucked.

But all you have to remember is that everything will work out like it should, everything has a reason. It'll hurt now, and it isnt anything that anyone wants, but you have to remember, if it makes your parents happier in the end... then it just happens. 26 years is sooo much time, and a change like that... is indescribable.

But stay strong, keep your head up and it will all work out. Good luck man... if you need to chat, im here.

[accordaffair]

A very similiar situation befell me a few years ago. Infedelity split my parents apart for several weeks.

The gravity of the situation is hard on anyone, its always the hardest on the kids though.

They went through counseling and gained an appreciation for each other that wasn't there before. The whole family had to go to the counselor too, but I nearly refused to share with her anything personal or how I felt about it. I don't like airing out dirty laundry where everyone else can see, ya know?

I have faith that things will work out for you and your family.

[Fr0z3N]

Yeah man hopefully it'll all work out for the better, my mom and dad divorced when I was 10, eventually I got used to it, but now my dad's moved to New Brunswick, this is my first summer with him and probably my last full summer with him (I need a job, I got school in ontario blah blah) Sometimes there are the advantages though you just have to wait it out and figure out what they are. My mom and dad are better friends now then when they were together. I hope the best to you and your family.

[ACC0RD22]

I had to go through this a year and a half ago. my parents are still apart, and its looking to be that way forever. I sorta saw it coming, but it really hit my sister hard. My situation was quite a bit different then youres (of course, Im saying this without knowing your parents reasoning), but, honestly I found that the best thing to do is go about your life as you did before. Yes, things will change, but . . . ultimately, its thier life, and I just had to let both of them know that I would support them no matter what, because I love them.

I really hope this situation works out better than it did for me, because Honestly, nothing would make me happier than to see my parents back together, even though I know thats never gonna happen.

[Maple50175]

It's can't be that bad. There still going to be there. My parents have been div since 96 i believe sure it sucks but its not all that bad. I never hang with my dad. if it is its just to ask for favors sinc ehe's working or sitting at home. I kinda never call for help becuase noone answers his phone etc sure it sucks but u gotta get over it.


Stop making fun of me online and ill feel bad for you.

Hope everything i sbetter.

[sublime]

hey dude, my prayers go to you, and your parents. keep us updated.

[floored]

Floored, I know things will be fine.. but just thinking about the future events is what makes me think differently and feel shitty. I was planning on flying both of them and myself to Colorado this Christmas for a skiing trip.. but this doesn't look good now. Also, IF and when I ever get married.. not seeing them together as a couple there will hurt. Same with kids later on down the road.. "do you want to go to Grandma's house or Grandpa's house?" That sucks.

youre right it does suck saying that

Probably doesnt help, but you know what can you do? they are adults.

like negro93 said, having step parents is the hardest part.

He is also an adult so that should make step parents not that hard....its not like hes 7 and has to listen to the evil stepmom