Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

my joke for the night

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    my joke for the night

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

    CrzyTuning now offering port services

    #2
    Bitch got told.
    "form follows function."
    Louis Sullivan

    Comment


      #3
      hahahaha nice move!!

      Midwest car club

      Current rides:
      91 accord lx (5spd)
      92 accord lx (5spd)
      93 accord lx (auto )

      Comment


        #4
        lol........ good come back.....

        Comment


          #5
          OMG you had me cracking up int the library at my school. good stuff.
          www.myspace.com/sajunglist

          www.bassdrive.com


          Comment


            #6
            is that something you actually did? thats fucking halarious.

            Owner of https://theclunkerjunker.com

            Comment


              #7
              That's awesome.....
              1992 Accord LX - SOLD

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Accord R33
                is that something you actually did? thats fucking halarious.
                haha, no! would have been funny as hell tho!!

                CrzyTuning now offering port services

                Comment


                  #9
                  lol simply awsome
                  The CB9 has been reborn into a CB3
                  Members Ride - see my cb3 here - DOHC powah
                  Check out my JDM F22B swap
                  Watch my CB7 video


                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X