Girl Troubles POLL: Am I An Asshole?

[ACCLUDE91]

Over the weekend some shit went down at my place and I'd like to get some feedback from you all.

Background -
I live with a girl Heather that I have known for about 7 years. We dated for over a year and lived together when we met. Relationship didn't work but we've been friends since then and have lived together several times at different places.

Issue -
We went to one of our friends weddings Sat. and after it was over, she brought home some dude from the wedding and they ended up fucking. In the past this has not bothered me since we're not together and have both dated other people over the past several years. The guy she brought home was a total sleeze bag and has done so much coke in the past that he4's half burnt out and shit. Maybe it's because this guy was a total assclown, but this time it SERIOUSLY BOTHERED ME! I could hear them fucking cause they were being loud as shit and it literally made me sick to my stomache. I ended up leaving and driving around for a couple hours to cool down and went home. I couldn't sleep and stayed up for over 36hrs. straight. I also couldn't eat and wasn't hungry either. This lasted all the way through Sun. I decided that I was NEVER going to let myself feel like that again. I can't control her actions (nor do I want to) but I can sure control mine so I decided it would be best to move out.

Confrontation -
I also I realized why this made me so upset.......I still love this girl and that's mainly why that shit got me so heated. Also, she can do so much better than the jerkoff she brought home from the wedding and I thought she was better than. I came to the decision that I needed to move out in order for us to still be cool. I lost a lot of respect for her and don't think I can live with her anymore. Mon. I talked to her and let her know that I will be moving out within the next 2 months. Even though I will not be living with her, I'm still gonna pay half of the rent/bills since I'm on the lease. I'm not screwing her over in any way. I don't hate her and we're still friends as far as I'm concerned, but I just can't live with her anymore.

Since I told her on Mon. that I'm leaving, she has been crying no-stop. Even left work early today because she's "too upset to concetrate". She won't stop crying and she won't talk to me anymore. It's day #2 of this now.

Keep in mind that I personally feel that it is in BOTH of our best interest for me to move out. She's not getting hurt in any way and even comes out ahead in the end cause she gets the whole fucking house to her self.

Now that you have an idea of the situation..........

Am I being an asshole?
Am I "in the wrong" at all?

Let me know what you guys (and girls) think

[uncle_el]

apparently you should just tell her that you want to screw her... i mean, that you like/love her. then perhaps she'll see where your coming from.

btw, your sig is a little large.

[Dirty Harry]

Over the weekend some shit went down at my place and I'd like to get some feedback from you all.

Background -
I live with a girl Heather that I have known for about 7 years. We dated for over a year and lived together when we met. Relationship didn't work but we've been friends since then and have lived together several times at different places.

Issue -
We went to one of our friends weddings Sat. and after it was over, she brought home some dude from the wedding and they ended up fucking. In the past this has not bothered me since we're not together and have both dated other people over the past several years. The guy she brought home was a total sleeze bag and has done so much coke in the past that he4's half burnt out and shit. Maybe it's because this guy was a total assclown, but this time it SERIOUSLY BOTHERED ME! I could hear them fucking cause they were being loud as shit and it literally made me sick to my stomache. I ended up leaving and driving around for a couple hours to cool down and went home. I couldn't sleep and stayed up for over 36hrs. straight. I also couldn't eat and wasn't hungry either. This lasted all the way through Sun. I decided that I was NEVER going to let myself feel like that again. I can't control her actions (nor do I want to) but I can sure control mine so I decided it would be best to move out.

Confrontation -
I also I realized why this made me so upset.......I still love this girl and that's mainly why that shit got me so heated. Also, she can do so much better than the jerkoff she brought home from the wedding and I thought she was better than. I came to the decision that I needed to move out in order for us to still be cool. I lost a lot of respect for her and don't think I can live with her anymore. Mon. I talked to her and let her know that I will be moving out within the next 2 months. Even though I will not be living with her, I'm still gonna pay half of the rent/bills since I'm on the lease. I'm not screwing her over in any way. I don't hate her and we're still friends as far as I'm concerned, but I just can't live with her anymore.

Since I told her on Mon. that I'm leaving, she has been crying no-stop. Even left work early today because she's "too upset to concetrate". She won't stop crying and she won't talk to me anymore. It's day #2 of this now.

Keep in mind that I personally feel that it is in BOTH of our best interest for me to move out. She's not getting hurt in any way and even comes out ahead in the end cause she gets the whole fucking house to her self.

Now that you have an idea of the situation..........

Am I being an asshole?
Am I "in the wrong" at all?

Let me know what you guys (and girls) think

NO, you are not an asshole in the least. This is not that simple though, this story has many factors to it. One of them is the attachment to this girl... you gotta let go dude, it's not good for you at all and it's representative of weakness if you can't do that. Bottom line is though, you gotta look out for you. You are going way beyond the call of duty by still paying for your share (and I hope this is mostly/all due to the fact you're on the lease and that is legally binding). YOU SHOULD NOT feel bad in the least about doing this. I don't care how much she fucking cries, she should have thought about what she did before she did it. It's too late now.

In closing, DO NOT even think about sticking around in pity for her. You're taking care of the proper expenses and that's plenty. Get out of there, get your head back together, and DON'T let her bother you or beg you to come back. You have to be firm.

good luck

[civic_90_08]

I personally dont think you are being an asshole, i think you should tell her that She is better than that and that it hurt you to see her do that to herself. I mean, shes better than to bring some random guy home and fuck his brains out. Tell her this, i think she will see where your coming from

Good luck with what ever you deside to do.

-Jordan

[ACCLUDE91]

I'll make the sig smaller...

I've actually made an vow that I would not have sex again until I'm married so I really have no interest in sleeping with her. She knows that I love her cause I told her and also told her that that's the main reason I need to leave. I DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER EVER AGAIN and could NEVER DO ANYTHING SEXUAL with her again because of how disgusted I was at the dirty muther fucker she slept with 2 days ago, but I would still like to be friends and that is my only concern at this point. I've told her all of this.

My guess is that she still loves me which is making all of it difficult for her but she won't fuckin talk to me so I can't figure out what the deal is. I guess we both thought that we were over eachother, but really weren't.

I'm still confused

[gloryaccordy]

I'd skidaddle bro...seems like she's trying to have her cake and eat it too. And WTF @ living with a broad after things didn't work out? Maybe I'm not mature enough for that yet but I'll be damned! Either I'm the one fucking and loving her or I'm out of the house, and hopefully out of her life. Ya gotta let that shit go man...I'd move out sooner than later if I could.

[NAiL05]

Nah i think your doing the right thing bro. Hope everything works out for you. Best of luck man.

[HondaFan81]

Much of my life I've lived trying to please people at the sacrifice of my own feelings, etc. I have learned through experience and years, it is flat out NOT HEALTHY for you as an individual to do this constantly. You have ALL the right to the feelings/emotions you have mentioned and have made a choice. She as a friend should respect that and not make you feel guilty, no matter how much it hurts her. Sometimes you have to think of it this way....in the now, it hurts...but if you wait it out longer/or put it off longer it will hurt even more!! (for both you and her). To stay (even if she likes/loves you still) will result in nothing because you just stated you never care to be with her. In other words, you two will both string each other along for a relationship that will never happen....one of you have got to see the light and make a choice so you don't waste your lives and move on (not saying you can't still remain friends, just don't set your heart on the girl). When you find a girl that really peaks your interest (you'll forget about her...guaranteed).

[DeathFromAbove]

i don't think your an ass, i mean you just said you loved her stilll, and if se was crying non stop there's a reason for that too...i think she might be realizing something and need to take a step back. do what you gotta do. i think you can work something out though.

jerk off on her chin when she's asleep though.

[h22sparkle]

i don't think your an ass, i mean you just said you loved her stilll, and if se was crying non stop there's a reason for that too...i think she might be realizing something and need to take a step back. do what you gotta do. i think you can work something out though.

jerk off on her chin when she's asleep though.

HAH! on that note you need to get a hold of yourself and not be led in again if shes begging you not to go and you knew her for an ex amount of years you need to just leave but soemthings telling you to stay. I think you should tell her about your feelings and that you still do love her and that she can do better. And it seems that she doesnt wanna let you go either . You need to go to her and tell her what does she really want. I mean you need to go in there and take charge and just take her. If you can really see yourself with her in a relationship ask her if she feels the same way. It is better to have loved and lost to never have loved at all

[T3aM 83rD]

i think that you need to take sometime and think about what you ultimately want. i know that you love her but you dont wanna be with her and to me that is confusing. if your gonna watch her back then your always gonna get screwed when she does something that you dont like. my advise is think about what you want then go talk to her and tell her the deal, no matter how it makes her feel.

[cjv998]

Sounds like you're being considerate of her, and it also sounds like you moving out would be the best decision. I think you two should have a nice long discussion about this though, explain (or at least attempt to explain) why you're moving out, etc. Just to make sure you both understand where the other is coming from. Just my opinion though. Good luck!

[wrichards2005]

You're not an ass dude, but its just kind of weird that something triggered you realizing you still love her. Maybe you were just lonely, but maybe you ARE still crazy about the chick. After 7 years, you should be able to tell this girl anything on your mind. I'd start there. Tell her she can do better.

It sounds to me like your emotions are fu**ed up though. You need to rest and think about things before you make any life changing decisions.

Maybe you do love her, maybe you don't. But it sounds to me like she loves you too. You shouldn't move out though, people DO make mistakes.

[King James]

yes...




















jk nah dude yer doin the right thing for both of you....if you continue on the way yer goin itll just end up worse in the end....this way at least youll be able to continue bein friends....hopefully

[Gemini]

I guess I have nothing else to add. If you still need an answer, well, re-read all the above post because all the future posts in this thread will reminisce what all the other guys said above.