just to vent...1st love..

[FishyMan]

i have no one to really tell or talk to, but i think my relations w/ someone for about 4-5 years has gone down the drain. we were friends and it happend back towards high school and went on till now, which i am still in college, there was the on/off ish thing but now it seems more like real... it seems she felt much alleved to have told me that she just wanted to be friends..

it's not the same, but hearing those words hurt a lot more hiddenly, i know however that the past few months, years things weren't the same and that i looked at her as a VERY CLOSE friend, someone whom i literally trusted and someone whom i've been in the storm and the sunny days with. i knew that the relation dampened, but i guess hearing her say it first hit me... we literally evolved into a 'married couple', but i knew deep down it wouldn't last.

i d k what to do, im having midterms and it's been lingering, but its been just 2 days since and i don't feel like even talking to her or even caring. there's jsut a lot of emotions right now.... mostly sad ones.. it's not like others where people get into for social factors or to get laid or whatever... this trully was 1st love and it sucks and it hurts.. i went out last night and bout a 40oz.. tonight i bought 2-40z and 1 beer.. oh well.. and i have MIDTERMS and life crisis to deal with too.. i don't have much close girl friends nor buds who can relate so ya... i d k what to do. i guess it was good that it makes her happy to be free and do what she wants and for that i am happy too, bu ti guess the process just needs time for me to move on. i dont think i can ever be in a close relation though anymore .. i feel hopeless and in despair..

any how thanks for listening ...

[Driftspec310]

Hey bro, your still in college. I would say focus on that. I know it hurts and we all have been through it, but think about this: What would mean more to you? 1) Accepting the fact that she is not the one and being friends or 2) Not having her in your life at all. If she really means that much to you then you would let her go and let her do what she thinks she needs. Sometimes love is fu**ed up like that but in the long run both yourself and her are going to need a good friend. When the time is right, she will see that you have been there for her through thick and thin and that will mean more to her than anything. Same for you. Just ride it out. It may work out to where both of you get back together but it also may not. So what. You will have a life long friend no matter what, and that is the most important thing. Focus on school. A girl will not get you to graduate, a girl will not get you a job, and a girl is not going to make you successful. What will make you successful is being able to deal with bad situations when they come like a pro. It is harder to do than say but anyone can vouch that you will be ok as long as you keep it cool and just be her friend. She obviously does not know what she wants and college is where you find shit out. Let her and same for you. Figure out what it is you want and go from there. John

[FishyMan]

Thanks man.. !!

I know what I want, I've always been on course, maybe a bit delayed at college in terms of FINISHING on TIME, but ya. I honestly dont know what I want to major in, but I rather finish that sector of my life. It's a feeling of acceptance, I find it hard to accept things i guess, and I guess this is what legit heart-broken means. I can barely accept the fact of even looking or talking to her. I just don't know, the feeling is really wierd. This isn't high-school tv drama of 1 or 2 years, but of long legit relationship, imo...

I know I'll get through this, and hopefully time heals pain and hopefully time can make it better. I do'nt see use getting back together on that DEEP connection like it ONCE was, because I know and she knows that we were never really meant to be - in a sense, too much difference, and family and other things.. I know I may want that, but I know it's bette rin the long run.. I knew something like this would happen so I am and was always afraid of relationships. Perhaps it was a matter of time, or a matter of situation for it to blossom. I guess through-out those 4-5 years it was a sense of needing someone who we both could relate to and rely on. We would consulte eachother for everything and make sacrifices... It was fun, sad, etc, but it was a great, real, close one.

Oh well.. It's hard to say, but I'm thankful for the feed-back. The 1st love does hurt.. I drank and I'm still OKAY haha.. oh well.

[buddah]

Honesty what made m feel better when that happened to me in college was knowing that there were a ton of other females there that were willing to treat me well and give the same respect I gave back to them...well that and all the girls that wanted me to hit it but I couldn't b/c i was in a relationship were now fair game

[Driftspec310]

^^^^ Very fu**en true. Preach on bro.

[d112crzy]

man, I feel your pain, this was me not too long ago. My first true love fell apart on me. It hurts, I'm not gona lie. You will be feeling like shit for a long while, at least I did. But it just takes time to get over it, and since you're in college hey, its gona go away faster than it did me because I had to see her everyday b/c we had a class together last year. But I'm in college, away from her and ever since Ive been doin a lot better.

beleive me tho, you WILL find someone else, whether you like it or not. You will find that someone else when you least expect it and she will bring you out of your misery like no other. I know you are probably gona be hesitant at first, but just let it be.

but for the time being, try to distant yourself from her. Don't talk to her, dont do anything that reminds you of her, and anytime you need to talk man, just hit me up on aim, pm me first tho, lol, no one can talk to me unless I add them first.lol.

good luck bro, everything will be better.

[Bongo]

sucks dude...but hang in there everything will work out fine.

[Shinobi]

nobody really stays with their first love through out their whole life. you gotta move on. there's other fishes in tha sea. and you still have tha rest of your life to find her. i'd say try and focus into college more, make your future more brighter than havin' a girlfriend, who can be a distraction. when you know tha time is right for you to have a girlfriend, go for it. education makes you who you are and shows how much knowledge you've obtain'd not some measly girl ..things like this happen, learn from it and don't let things slip away so easily. toughen it up. i'm sure everything will be fine.

[starchland]

hang in there bro, I know how it feels im dealin with similar case here

[FishyMan]

Shoot thanks guys. I know I will spend more time at school and college. I'm stilling trying to find what I want to do for a living, but I just want to finish with a major at least. Sucks to not find ur passion...

I'm different from other peeps I suppose, I"m not always on the prowl or whatever looking for girls or getting into love. I honestly have a lot of other things in life, family, school, personal things here and there. You guys are right, the most important thing is the school, college thing. Still trying to find my way; that in itself is another story..

So much pressure from family as well to succeed and what not. But thanks for the response, the feedback. It still mulls me and I can't even look her in th eye the other day I had to pick something up.

thanks.