sorry guys

[jboyce]

Well, ya...i'm an idiot i'll admit it. First off, I can't justify anything stupid i've done here, I know alot of people here don't like me. People have their opinions about me and that's cool and all. I would like to take a second to elaborate on a certain situation. I put a picture of my girlfriend in my sig a while back, and it created a lot of controversy, I just put it there for who knows what reason. I honestly don't think it's bragging or whatever, cause shes not that damn pretty, the girl can be a bitch and she sucks in bed. It was cool receiving compliments, cause i've always had low selfesteem and it made me feel a lil better. Anyway's, I make alot of dumb decisions in life, I tend to runaway from things cause I can't deal with them headon. I talk shit but rarely back it up, i usually just hide behind my friends. I need to start realizing my priorities and get my shit together. I'm loosing respect from people I care about the most, and I don't want to loose them cause I will have nothing left. I've burned to many bridges in my life. Now I cant even show my face at certain places without lowering my head in shame for things i've done. I'm afraid to talk to anyone in my family cause i don't want them to know what's going on in my life cause they will be dissapointed. I can't talk to my girlfriend, and I show no appreciation for my girls mom letting me live in her house and not pay rent. I need to really grow up, i'm 20 years old, 21 in June. I've never had a job for more than 3 months, and i've gone through over 20 jobs since i was 16. All i ever wanted in life was to be happy, and all i have now is a blind happiness because i hide from my problems. Thing's really went downhill since lastweek, and i'm not quite sure what to do, or who to turn to, i've already let everyone down. I guess it's time i get my head straight and do shit right from now on. It's not going to be easy for me, i'm so used to just partying with friends and having a "fuck you" attitude.

I'm not quite sure how to change, or if I should change into someone else. What do I need to change to be a better person, is it just holding a job. or should i quit smoking, quit drinking. I don't know, but I do know the life i'm living now is leading nowhere. I'm gonna register for college tomorrow and start in winter, I have the skills i just didn't have the motivation, i'm just gonna push myself no matter how hard it gets. But then again, I guess only actions can speak for me, so i'll let you all know how everything is going in a month or two.

This isn't intended for sympathy or appologies or whatever, it was just a way to voice my thoughts as a reference and sort of a binding agreement to myself to change from this day on.

-Jonn

[Tone-us]

Good for you man, just make sure you stick to your plan, even if you have to just stop doing everything your doing... which include smoking and drinking. And another thing..... appreciate your girl, she might not be the best girlfriend in the world but at least she's put up with all your BS and that right there deserves more than what you've been giving her. So yeah man just think positive and don't drown your losses with alcohol... which I've heard you do all to often, once again good luck and if you need any advise on anything just pm me and I'll try to help you out...OK? cool.

[501accord]

man i woulda thought she was damn good in bed, anyway, nice apology

[jboyce]

man i woulda thought she was damn good in bed, anyway, nice apology

well she used to be, and i'm not mad at her for this. but she was on the shot...and it messed her hormones up, and now she cant have sex cause it hurts her too much.

[koolkoreanked]

just take it one day at a time man... I remember a time when I was in a similar situation... Just change one thing at a time... and go from there. good man.

[deevergote]

Well, simply doing this is a step. It's easier to confront your problems when you're safe behind a computer, but it's a start! College is yet another important step.

It seems like you've been thinking long and hard about your failings. There is very little in this world that can't be put behind you. Whatever you've done to be ashamed of, learn from it and put it behind you. Whatever you're doing that you're currently ashamed of, stop it! Keep your job... there are many jobs that are VERY hard to get fired from, so find one of those and just don't curse anyone out! Pay some rent to your girl's mom. Her opinion of you will change rapidly when she sees the change, I'm sure.

Don't apologize for anything. Just take control of your life and point yourself in the right direction. Anyone that cares won't care about what you've done... they'll be more concerned with what you're doing. If you can hold a job and go to college, you're already on a better path than a LOT of people!

[chessboxer]

read notes from the underground by dostoyevsky

[Ilikebigbutts]

Some people dont grow up as fast as others do.You remind me of me about a year ago but i just turned 17.I really changed the past six months cuz i realized that i actualy wanna do something in life.I was one of those kids that had the "fuck the world" attitude you speak of.Smoking weed and getting drunk everyday wont get you anywhere.You realized that you are wrong and that you should change the way you handle situations but now you have to actualy apply your self in improving.Like someone in here said, you become better everyday, and i really believe in that.Every day i try to change and improve the ways i handle things.Go to college and do something with your life man,Good luck.

ILBB

[Shadow1]

i completely kno how u feel man. i look bak on my mistakes in my life and it makes me sick that i made them. but i dont only look at them as mistakes, i look at them as(uh oh here it comes, the parent line) lessons. i did and im on my way 2 straightin out my life.

about ur girl. treat her the same way u want 2 b treated. and dont do it cuz of that reason, but do it b/c u love her. show her that u want her n ur life. 4get 4 right now if she's good n bed or not. if u only think of it that way then u'll end up cheatin on her b/c u want some booty. show her that u care and love her. help her mom do the dishes 1 day or take out the trash.

about college. do it man. its the way 2 go. if u can work on cars, use that. go 2 school 4 mechanics and u might learn somethin about our motors that u or people up here didnt kno.

just keep in mind. i dont know ne 1 up here. but every1 up here has my trust. and im always here 4 ne who needs it. 24/7.

[N9netwoAccord]

props to you for recognizing that your way of living was no way to live...

just take it from day to day and remember even though not all of us like each other we're a family here at cb7tuner and we're here to help you every step of the way

[wlfpck]

Find the things your good at and enjoy doing. No drinking does not count.

For instance I like computers so I work on computers to earn money. Try something like that. You might be more interested in the jobs then.

[Connal]

Well, I personaly never had a problem with the things you posted or said. I'm really happy you have the motivation now. I think we all have a story about how we woke up, and really took a look at the world. I know I don't speak for everyone here, I am sure there are different opinions. But I know on this site there are going to be alot of people, me included, that are right here for you. Need to vent some steam? Cuss me out for an hour in a PM. I won't take it personally. I for one am right behind you.

[goldenchild722]

Damn. sounds like u n a deep mental state of mind right now. the issues u got, sounds like u bout to go head on wit em, which is always a good choice. keep ya mind right and handle the situations as u c fit, as long as it's the right way. I don't know u personally, but sounds like u a pretty cool cat. hope everything works out 4 u