I know I have posted about problems with my man on here before. I like to get a mans point of view to help me better understand him. I am going through alot right now and so is he. I am trying to juggle two full time jobs my children and keep the house decent. I deceved him by not telling him about a debt that I occured while I was not working.My bf and I were going through a tough time and weren't getting along at all I went on a self destructive binge you might say I was not addicted to drugs or anything but shopping. I spent money I didn't even have. I lied to him and kept it from him recently I came out about it cause I am working really hard to fix it. Need less to say we have had a bumpy road in the past. I am afraid it is really over this time I really love him with all my heart. when he said I had anger issues I went got help and medication. But, even if I forget my medication for one day I get back on bitch mode. I am really trying. But because I have lied so much he really can't believe anything I say which I can't blame him.But I love him guys please help me all opinions are welcome.
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you deceived/lied/kept the truth from him, and he doesn't trust you... not much more to it.
it ain't what you say, it's what you do.
absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. -
well i guess its hard to give an accurate response without being there through the whole thing... but it wouldnt bother me that much. i read el's response beofre i read what you had to say. i assumed you cheated on him or something severe like that. but a debt, who cares. if my gf came to me now and told me that, she too was out of a job for the past couple months and just started a new one last week... i would be like, well damn you fucked up, what were you thinking???
basically i would tell her, dont live beyond your means, thats just stupid... i know she would agree and we would both get her out of debt. i wouldnt be able to help much in my current situation, but if i could do something, i would.
guess it all depends on what kind of relationship you have together. in all honesty, if something like this is a huge deal, your relationship doesnt sound that healthy to begin with. and i apologize if im being a dick or anything like that, but i havent read any other posts about your relationship... this is the first ive seen.
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Last time we gave you advice when you requested it, you told us to basically mind our own business and that you would work it out your own way. If you have lied and been deceptive to the point where he does not trust you, then I would agree with EL' and say that you have screwed it up beyond repair...Comment
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^^^ I don't remember saying that but if so I apologize I am usually an honest person but sometimes I am just plain scared to tell the truth cause I am afraid of what he'll say or do. I know that sounds stupid but it is how i feel.And I appreciated everyones advice I think what happened was it got off topic that is all.Comment
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all see everyones point, but i would be really pissed if it was my money tied in there. But like Dr. said if it your money then do what you want. But lieing is a hard thing to over come. Me and my g/f have broken up about 2-3 times. But we get to the point we fit over the sky being blue or my having the penis and her not. Point being we fight ofer the dumbest shit. But I would see it as if you dig your own hole then fill it. But i may hand you the shovel.......... see what i am saying.Comment
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Truth and communication are key to relationship survival, and it sounds like you are lacking those 2 very things right now. Why are you scared about his reaction? I assume this relationship is nowhere near abusive, right? You can not avoid the truth simply because of fear, it will only bring more troubles along the way, which you are experiencing now. You must confront him about everything you can, tell him exactly how you feel, exactly what you think. The only way you can solve this is by confrontation that YOU must initiate. Just be honest about your feelings, and you can only hope for the best. He feels betrayed right now and is uncertain of you. If you really do care as much as you say you do, you would do everything within your power to solve this, not only for you and him, but your daughter as well.Originally posted by hondagurlex21
and actions DO speak louder than words
Best of luck
Formerly 91AccordExR33
11.68 @ 127mph
417whp/375wtq
Sold: 8/2016
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i'm in the same boat, i've been drinking alot more than i should, i would drink everyday for the past few months and get angry/sad and she would have to deal with it, it got to the point where i was angry even when i wasnt drunk, last week i got angry for no reason, punched my front window and broke it, broke my rear view mirror, and had to get stiches in my hand, then was still angry at her for no reason. so i quit drinking, and i'm going to see a counselour for my other problems, probaly get some meds as well. my best advice for you, write a long letter letting him know how much you care about him and need his help, i told my girlfriend i was having problems and that i needed her to be there for me, and she's helping me get through it all. but then again, if i don't stay changed for the next few months, then she's moving out without me. i still have the anger inside, and everytime i even think about something in my head i start to loose it.
just thought i'de let you know, that it may be possible to turn things around, i quit hanging out with my friends that i drank with, now i just focus on work and making her happy. but she is a really nice person, i'm not as forgiving as her.
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this quote comes to mind 'it takes years to build trust, but only suspicion, not truth, to destroy it'
I guess time is the only thing that will be able to fix it.
"You've done more threatening prescription drugs..."
"the character of a man can be judged by how he takes his criticism"
"Quoting yourself is like, masturbation" -StarchlandComment
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sounds like u need to come to terms with what ever your problems are and not be afraid to lie about them. Just like others said, a real relationship will only last if there is trust between others and lies break that trust. If you really love the guy and he cares for u, he will acceptet what u have done wrong, u just can't lie about it.
If u have lied to him many times, then he will probably not get back with u.
Life suks somtimes, u just got to keep going on tho.
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