Well its story time again. People rarely listen to me, despite the fact I know more about cars than they do, and I frequently prove them wrong. Some people just dont respect a tuner.
Anyway.
My girlfriends cousin was getting married. I was enlisted to drive my girlfriend and her grandmother two hours to the wedding. Her grandmother owns a car but does not drive. Its a '05 Ford Focus. I offered to use my own vehicle but they insisted I take the focus because 'its more safe/more reliable'.
Whatever. Arguing with women proves futile and just makes me look like an asshole. SO I go along with the Ford.
Half-way there I notice that whenever the RPMs fall to idle, the battery light comes on. A quick rev, and it goes away. Oh good. The 'more reliable than my honda which has a brand new alternator' has developed a case of bad regulator. Oh well. We get to the wedding, and I start my drinking.
As the evening progresses and the outdoor wedding is about to unfold, I notice some funky clouds start to develop on an otherwise sunny warm day. Out of curiosity I check my local radar imagery via my cellphone, and find that a massive freak 5-minute downpour and windstorm is headed straight for us. I let the appropriate people know, but nobody wants to hear it. SO I collect my girlfriend and sit next to her in a pair of chairs under the verandah. She asks me whats happening and I tell her "some pretty funny shit is about to happen, just watch"
She, like most women would, demanded to know what I was talking about. She didnt quite believe me, but didnt leave the chair either. We cracked open our beers and waited.
About 5 minutes later, the rain was really fucking coming down. And the portable no-wall wedding tents were being ripped to shreds. Plates and champagne glasses everywhere. Ive never seen so many women trying to protect their hair from the rain.
Eventually things were fixed and the evening finished as expected. Cut to the good part. I get in the car with the girlfriend and grandmother to begin the drive home. I had just gotten on the highway when I noticed the battery light no longer disappears out of idle. Methinks the regulator has finally kicked off. We are now running on the battery. Since its a Canadian-registered vehicle, theres no way to cut the lights to save battery (nor was it safe to do so anyway, as it was now night)
This is how it played out:
30 minutes from home - I shut off heat, fans and radio to save power
21 minutes from home - enter my town. lit roads are empty this time of night
20 minutes from home - headlights are too dim to see the road
15 minutes from home - speedometer goes dead
13 minutes from home - headlights switch off (DRL lost power?)
10 minutes from home - now have no tails, or turn signals
9 minutes from home - shift auto tranny to 2nd in case TCU goes
7 minutes from home - not stopping at intersections, dont want to drop to idle RPM (what is keeping the engine going??)
5 minutes from home - all interior lights are now dead, all gauges dead
I reached home and switched off the engine. For fun I turned the key to start, not even a click. She's dead Jim.
Worried over the cost of a new alternator, I offered to find a rebuilt one for less than $100 and do the install myself. This offer was rejected, and granny ended up spending almost $600 for her mechanic to do it.
BUT her family now talks about how good a driver I am all the time.
I missed my Honda dearly that night.
Anyway.
My girlfriends cousin was getting married. I was enlisted to drive my girlfriend and her grandmother two hours to the wedding. Her grandmother owns a car but does not drive. Its a '05 Ford Focus. I offered to use my own vehicle but they insisted I take the focus because 'its more safe/more reliable'.
Whatever. Arguing with women proves futile and just makes me look like an asshole. SO I go along with the Ford.
Half-way there I notice that whenever the RPMs fall to idle, the battery light comes on. A quick rev, and it goes away. Oh good. The 'more reliable than my honda which has a brand new alternator' has developed a case of bad regulator. Oh well. We get to the wedding, and I start my drinking.
As the evening progresses and the outdoor wedding is about to unfold, I notice some funky clouds start to develop on an otherwise sunny warm day. Out of curiosity I check my local radar imagery via my cellphone, and find that a massive freak 5-minute downpour and windstorm is headed straight for us. I let the appropriate people know, but nobody wants to hear it. SO I collect my girlfriend and sit next to her in a pair of chairs under the verandah. She asks me whats happening and I tell her "some pretty funny shit is about to happen, just watch"
She, like most women would, demanded to know what I was talking about. She didnt quite believe me, but didnt leave the chair either. We cracked open our beers and waited.
About 5 minutes later, the rain was really fucking coming down. And the portable no-wall wedding tents were being ripped to shreds. Plates and champagne glasses everywhere. Ive never seen so many women trying to protect their hair from the rain.
Eventually things were fixed and the evening finished as expected. Cut to the good part. I get in the car with the girlfriend and grandmother to begin the drive home. I had just gotten on the highway when I noticed the battery light no longer disappears out of idle. Methinks the regulator has finally kicked off. We are now running on the battery. Since its a Canadian-registered vehicle, theres no way to cut the lights to save battery (nor was it safe to do so anyway, as it was now night)
This is how it played out:
30 minutes from home - I shut off heat, fans and radio to save power
21 minutes from home - enter my town. lit roads are empty this time of night
20 minutes from home - headlights are too dim to see the road
15 minutes from home - speedometer goes dead
13 minutes from home - headlights switch off (DRL lost power?)
10 minutes from home - now have no tails, or turn signals
9 minutes from home - shift auto tranny to 2nd in case TCU goes
7 minutes from home - not stopping at intersections, dont want to drop to idle RPM (what is keeping the engine going??)
5 minutes from home - all interior lights are now dead, all gauges dead
I reached home and switched off the engine. For fun I turned the key to start, not even a click. She's dead Jim.
Worried over the cost of a new alternator, I offered to find a rebuilt one for less than $100 and do the install myself. This offer was rejected, and granny ended up spending almost $600 for her mechanic to do it.
BUT her family now talks about how good a driver I am all the time.
I missed my Honda dearly that night.
You have to think outside the box to get IN the box!
Comment