Which we started back talking a few months ago but it hasnt really gone anywhere as far as from a relationship point of view. Her mom asked me personally with tears in her eyes(In a hospital bed which made it even MORE awkward) to maybe not date her daughter but change her, to get her back in her house and on the right track.. Well.. I promised I would try but I never promised a miracle. Anyway she broke up with the dude she left me for tried to get back with me and I refused said your gonna have to work for it for a really long time. I moved her back into her moms house and out of that guys house, Got her friends back(which were my friends had to shit some of my reputation to get that to happen) got her a job at Academy and even got her truck to running again. Drove her back and forth to work for a while and lost my job because of her(but I hated the guy anyway). I eventually broke down the wall of her psyche and began molding her personality into something not so Black Widowish so that maybe the guy after me wont have such a fucking hard time. Well her mom had one of her ovaries taken out cancer rid from her came home and all is good right now with her. Iv been talking to her behind her daughters back sorta tag teeming her without her knowing. I finalllllllyyyy made progress to what was actually driving all the hate the insecurity the reason for leaving everything, why she was such a bitch all the time. Turns out its a whole lot to do with her past boyfriends and more specifically when she lost it. Also some with her dad mom and shes really had a shitty childhood, damaged goods if you get my drift. Well I worked with her like a personal psychiatrist for weeks not giving her a an inch just tearing her down and rebuilding her reassuring her every step of the way putting more effort into this then I probably had my entire grade school career. I started to see a different person come out of that house everyday. A girl with a different light in her eyes, a will to live. There were still problems sure and I didnt let up, I even convinced her to make friends with her father. Well its now January 18th and im looking back and I accomplished the impossible, I changed someone into someone better then they were... Someone they thought they werent. She will have a normal life now, If only a little. So lately iv been contemplating moving on and onto a fresh start, letting a new guy take the reins, hopefully someone alot stronger then I was.
Shes been sending me texts lately saying I need to change, well guys sorry but im not going too iv talked to my close friends about it and they say im a little eccentric and take things too far sometimes but its not unacceptable so I see no reason for me to change not at least for a while. She says I need to be more serious, mature, and grown up if I want to have along term relationship ever, im just a big joke to her and she condensed all this into a 3 page text and sent it to me. This was my response:
"I fell in love with who you are. You fell in love with who I am, You are not one big joke to me or I wouldnt have even gave you a chance.. Id be lieing to myself, I said you were the love of my life as seriously as I possibly could have but im not going to be serious all the time, this life is about happiness and i want you to be happy so i try and try and try everytime im with you to show you this life is for you its for you to take from and prosper. The world doesnt run on serious for that would just end in depression. Love and the pursuit of happiness are not words they are ideals, lifestyles. In meaning they are as serious as you can get. Every day is a gift, everyday is a gamble, everyday is a new start, take it learn from it be happy you even had the chance to get out of bed to have a bad day. Live girl LIVE do not only survive."
Now she says her heart is breaking cause she changed for me but I cant change for her and idk just wanted to share.
Shes been sending me texts lately saying I need to change, well guys sorry but im not going too iv talked to my close friends about it and they say im a little eccentric and take things too far sometimes but its not unacceptable so I see no reason for me to change not at least for a while. She says I need to be more serious, mature, and grown up if I want to have along term relationship ever, im just a big joke to her and she condensed all this into a 3 page text and sent it to me. This was my response:
"I fell in love with who you are. You fell in love with who I am, You are not one big joke to me or I wouldnt have even gave you a chance.. Id be lieing to myself, I said you were the love of my life as seriously as I possibly could have but im not going to be serious all the time, this life is about happiness and i want you to be happy so i try and try and try everytime im with you to show you this life is for you its for you to take from and prosper. The world doesnt run on serious for that would just end in depression. Love and the pursuit of happiness are not words they are ideals, lifestyles. In meaning they are as serious as you can get. Every day is a gift, everyday is a gamble, everyday is a new start, take it learn from it be happy you even had the chance to get out of bed to have a bad day. Live girl LIVE do not only survive."
Now she says her heart is breaking cause she changed for me but I cant change for her and idk just wanted to share.
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