....how it feels like to be a hot chick at the bar
So todays canada day right?.....I go out...have a couple....or 12 beers with some buddies to celebrate our nations birth....though we didnt do much celebrating besides drinking beer....its a good night
I decide its time for me to go home....hope on the subway and getting ready to shut it down for the night....but apparently the subway is doing maintenance so it stops running north after 1230.....the station it stops at is one stop away from my regular one....I figure no big deal....ill walk....so I get to walking
About 12 minutes into my 20 minute journey some dude starts walking beside me....Initial thought is dudes gonna kill me....so I get my phone all ready to dial 911 if need be....turns out it wasnt needed
He starts chatting it up with me as if were buds....Im still thinkin dudes gonna kill me so I respond with 1-2 word answers....he doesnt exactly leave me alone...but he doesnt speak much
I dunno if you have ever been in the elevator with someone who forces small talk on you and theres awkward silences between responses....but thats what it felt like....he apparently doesnt get the hint tho and keeps asking questions from time to time....tells me awkward stories about his kids and shit....I guess trying to loosen me up for.....
....your ass looks good in those shorts....
now I mean....Ive hit on girls before but thats really hittin the nail right on the head eh....I guess its different in the *** world....To each their own
I tell the guy Im straight but I guess thanks (not kidding...exact words)....I mean what do you say to that....he gives some story about how hes drunk (not a lie) and how he wouldnt normally say that if he wasnt drunk (perhaps a lie)
To get the point fully across that I do not enjoy penis....I respond with....again thanks...but Im more of a vagina kinda guy.....
awkward silence.....
.....more silence.....
.....not enough silence.....
Would you like a blow job tonight
Like what the fuck....I dont freak out on the guy cuz I still think he might wanna kill me a bit....so I just say really man....please now you made this shit uncomfortable....I think we should go our separate ways
Im worried cuz Im still worried hes gonna go all Jeffery Dahmer on my ass....but thank god he pretends to tie up his shoe (like I woulda been offended had he just walked away) and I run the fuck home.
Well....I walked slightly faster than before....Im am still drunk....and I had I ran it woulda made it easier to catch me....I wouldnt be able to run more than 300m without getting winded...I needed to save my breath.
So todays canada day right?.....I go out...have a couple....or 12 beers with some buddies to celebrate our nations birth....though we didnt do much celebrating besides drinking beer....its a good night
I decide its time for me to go home....hope on the subway and getting ready to shut it down for the night....but apparently the subway is doing maintenance so it stops running north after 1230.....the station it stops at is one stop away from my regular one....I figure no big deal....ill walk....so I get to walking
About 12 minutes into my 20 minute journey some dude starts walking beside me....Initial thought is dudes gonna kill me....so I get my phone all ready to dial 911 if need be....turns out it wasnt needed
He starts chatting it up with me as if were buds....Im still thinkin dudes gonna kill me so I respond with 1-2 word answers....he doesnt exactly leave me alone...but he doesnt speak much
I dunno if you have ever been in the elevator with someone who forces small talk on you and theres awkward silences between responses....but thats what it felt like....he apparently doesnt get the hint tho and keeps asking questions from time to time....tells me awkward stories about his kids and shit....I guess trying to loosen me up for.....
....your ass looks good in those shorts....
now I mean....Ive hit on girls before but thats really hittin the nail right on the head eh....I guess its different in the *** world....To each their own
I tell the guy Im straight but I guess thanks (not kidding...exact words)....I mean what do you say to that....he gives some story about how hes drunk (not a lie) and how he wouldnt normally say that if he wasnt drunk (perhaps a lie)
To get the point fully across that I do not enjoy penis....I respond with....again thanks...but Im more of a vagina kinda guy.....
awkward silence.....
.....more silence.....
.....not enough silence.....
Would you like a blow job tonight
Like what the fuck....I dont freak out on the guy cuz I still think he might wanna kill me a bit....so I just say really man....please now you made this shit uncomfortable....I think we should go our separate ways
Im worried cuz Im still worried hes gonna go all Jeffery Dahmer on my ass....but thank god he pretends to tie up his shoe (like I woulda been offended had he just walked away) and I run the fuck home.
Well....I walked slightly faster than before....Im am still drunk....and I had I ran it woulda made it easier to catch me....I wouldnt be able to run more than 300m without getting winded...I needed to save my breath.
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