Im Freaking Out!!!

[EdgarCb7]

man, i dont know what to think, much less what to do.....
ok, so like three months ago i messed around with some girl whom i thought was pretty hot in high school. we had a "thing" for like a week. it was nothing serious, both of us knew it was just for kicks. so anyway, now one of her friends tells me that she's pregnant and that there's a possibility that i could be the father..........yeah so, i call her up (the girl i messed around with, i'll just give her a name: Christine) and just ask her how she's been and what not. but before i can ask her anything she tells me her head hurts, so i tell her to take some pills, but she tells me she cant take any sort of pills because the clinic told her not to take any other medication with the (correct me if im wrong) prenatal pills, or something like that, that she's taking now......i stay quiet.......she asks whats wrong......i dont respond, then she tells me, "i am pregnant, you know." like i knew that, right? anyway, turns out she's three months pregnant and there's a 50/50 chance that i might be the father, because she was also with her ex around the same time...........anyway, she tells me not to worry about it, that she didn't intend to tell me that she was pregnant or that it could possibly be mine.
so what the hell does she mean dont worry about it? i mean, if its mine, im gonna be there for her and for what i helped bring into this world. i love kids and all that but im only 18, and im in certain situations that make this even more complicated. but what trips me out is that she doesn't care if im there for her or not if it's mine. come on now, wouldn't most girls want the father to be there. im thinking so, but this one here says she woudln't expect a damn thing from me and would prefer for me to stay out of her "situation" if i were to be the father.
i dont know, guys i just felt i couldn't tell anyone i personally know so im telling my cb7 brothers........

at least i've already got the family car, right?

[too.slow.CB7]

damn bro sorry to hear that...... "always put a helmet on your soldier before you go to war"...........-justin-

[mayberry]

damn bro sorry to hear that...... "always put a helmet on your soldier before you go to war"...........-justin-

not the kind of answer hes lookin for.....


Im sorry to hear about this man. All i can see is stay close while shes pregnant, keep in touch, make her realize your not an ass hole and your gonna man up to the situation. Then, when the child is born, Have a phraternity(sp?) test. If it isnt yours, drop that bitch like shes hot, cause shes probly not that great of a person if she doesnt know who the fater really is anyhow. If the child is yours, you sound like you want to be a man about it, so do your thing. Just turning 18 myself, it really is rough to think about getting a girl pregnant this young, I dont think i could handle it. But you seem like you want it to happen. Alls i can say is best wishes on whatever way it turns out. Good luck.

[EdgarCb7]

well not that i want it to happen, but if it is mine then yeah imma be there for her and MY baby. but she's hinting that she woulnt want me to be there for her. but still, walking away from that then doesn't seem like the thing to do.... i dont know....

[JDMcb7]

Off Topic - The title of this thread REALLY reminds me of Super Troopers.

On Topic - Sounds like your being very mature about the situation. Hopefully it will be the ex's so this dosen't fall on your shoulders. I hope everything works out for you man

[NoSloCB7]

Maybe she thinks the kid is of her ex's making and not yours.

[MRX]

Alright, i have some possible reasons as to her statements.
1. She could feel this is all her fault and its somehow punishment for something she did. She feels her life is now "over" and doesn't want to drag u down with her so she'd rather u stay out of it. This way you could continue life as normal.
2. She's going to tell her ex its his baby whether it is or not so they can get back together...or she wants to drain him with child support charges
3. She feels that she isn't fit to be a parent at her age so why would she expect you to be (kinda the same as #1)
4. She feels u were only a fling and could never be anything more
5. Mood swings

My question to you are would you be willing to work on a relationship and gain her trust if in fact the child is yours?

I'll say this much, try your best to be there for her during this time till u find out who the father is. She'll need help around sometimes and thats where you should come in...you never know...you may find you like her enough not to care who the actual father is.

P.S. On a lighter note...how was she? any good?

[icedplaya123]

That sucks man, i dont know what i would do if i heard that i fling i just had became pregnant, i mean i would just leave her i'd be there to do everything and anything i could to help the situation. hope everything works out for the best

[JDMCB3Si]

OK heres what I think... I know you won't want to hear this but it is becoming a more and more common thing.

Looks like you are doing whats right so keep it up. DO NOT drift out of the situation till you know 100% it is not yours. It is not all that often you see an 18 year old man stand up and stick in there. (please don't make a liar out of me :-P)

Now onto her:

1) The mood swings are bad when women are preg. (believe me I have 2 kids by the same girl.) She is going to say things she DOES NOT mean.
2) If she is only 17-18 her parents or her may have decided to give it up for adoption when it comes out or maybe even worse ABORTION . Which in that case STAY on top of this and find out because if there is ANY chance in you being the father then you HAVE a choice in the matter. You CAN stop any of those.


But keep your head up and stay in contact with her and us to let us know what is going on. We are here to help if you need it.

[arrozburner]

but she's hinting that she woulnt want me to be there for her.

i feel like she's only saying that cuz she thinks thats what you want to hear...not many people as young as you want to be fathers so she's letting you get away scot free now its up to you if you want to walk away or be there for her...but stick around and get a paternity test...if its yours or not, you should know what to do when the result comes.

[deevergote]

I wonder if it really IS her ex's kid and he's just a total ass... I mean, maybe she's picking a better father.

Still, I'm with the other guys. Stick around to see if it's yours. If so, it isn't that bad. I have friends who have had kids young... 17, 18, etc... Their lives didn't end. They still had time and money to have fun. The responsibilities are greater, of course, but so are the rewards.

My father was 35 when I was born. He wasn't the most active dad, though he tried. I could only imagine what it would be like to have a young father! You'll be 35 when your kid starts driving. Nowhere NEAR too old to share in car tuning with them! (boy or girl.. doenst matter... make a gearhead out of your daughter!)

We're here for you man... There are many members that have gone through the same thing.

[EdgarCb7]

to midnite racer x, well she just laid around, you know. lol.
i only answered this because i feel i have to find some sort of humor and think on the bright side of things. i cant feel down about this. i thought about it last night and im not sure i can grow to care about her enough to love her like that, but i can care enough to be there for her and my baby, if it's mine. but what makes this more weird that here ex is a friend of mine, or was. he moved away, but we knew each other since my freshman year in high school. we both played baseball, and i played short stop and he was the second basemen, so you know how that goes. all those double plays we turned kinda made us good friends...anyhow, he lives in san diego now.
but yeah, the one thing i feel comfortable about is that her and her parents wont give it up, much less abort it, so that's good. her parents were of course disappointed but in a way happy that they'll be grandparents soon. the other weird thing about this is that her parents only know of her ex, so if it does happen to me mine and i come into the picture, im a little worried about how they'll react towards me. and another thing is that her ex knows she's pregnant and he does know there's a 50/50 chance that he might not be the father but he deosn't know that im the other possibility so yeah........there's a lot of things that are messing with my mind, but regardless, unless it's not mine, im gonna be there for her...... anyway, thanks guys.

[Nycxeracer]

obviously this is some serious shit, this is a life changing event with no jokes warranted in any way. I would say first and foremost, make sure you go with her for the tests to make sure you are the father, you want to be 100% about this shit before you dive in. Secondly, is abortion an option? I mean, you are both 18, im assumin she is as well. you are certainly not ready to be parents, and although you could do it, it will be something you're clearly not ready for. Lastly, I hope you have a good family that will help you out during this.

[PakaloloHonda]

I think Deever and MRX hit it pretty much on the money ... MRZ's reasons # 2 and #4

2. She's going to tell her ex its his baby whether it is or not so they can get back together...
or she wants to drain him with child support charges.
4. She feels u were only a fling and could never be anything more

You may not wanna hear that but, she could very well feel that way. You never told us how long
you've known her? How long before *the week* did you *know* her?
Is she (in what you know of her) a person that would decieve? Have a reason to *want* to
get back at the *x*?? I dunno .. just questions I would ask myself ..

Also ..you just stated in the last post ..
" i thought about it last night and im not sure i can grow to care about her enough to love her like that,
but i can care enough to be there for her and my baby, if it's mine."
My brother had this same *situation* (many many many years ago lol)
and he's not been a very happy camper. (awesome kids tho)

I *am* REALLY proud of the fact that *you* are a stand-up guy about all of this .. simply said however,
I'm afraid you'll be hurt in the end. I get the sense that you're not really concerned about *you* at the moment.
In as much as you are concerned about the baby (which is a good thing) be concerned about *you* as well.
I'm sure that in more ways then one, if you *do* find out the child is *not* your's, there will be a form of *relief*
on your part, at the same time I'm sure, also a feeling of maybe losing something that might have been.
Please take the time (I know you think you have) but really sit back and talk with *her* more .. alot more.
And then some more.

It also sounds as if you care maybe a bit *more* for her, then she does you .?? I only hope and pray that if
the child is indeed your's, that the *both* of you can somehow find a way to make it all work out.

You sound very *committed* to whatever the outcome .. and that in itself I applaud you for ..

A Hui Hou !!!
Tomi

[MRX]

I kinda figured her parents only knew about the ex. She's gonna have a HELL of a time telling them about u if circumstances warrant that confession. She'd probably think her parents would consider her a hoe if they found out there were 2 guys involved.

So...this ex of hers is an old friend of yours, huh...i hope he doesn't have anger management probs. Did u know that she was your friend's ex? That one could turn real ugly real quick