I recently just got back from Africa, I could say i was the pinnacle of what has caused this change. Everything i have thought or have been thinking has changed.
I am completely changed. I have been reading, and on this trip, I read these books that were suggested by the counselor I met in the psyche ward who read my blog that got me arrested. This combination, plus many other things has caused a shift inside me.
I am becoming self aware, I am as though for the first time, realizing I am existing and have work to keep that existence, as if existence was handed to you... It always has been... My mind is growing, catching up to the past I haven't even concieved.
I am becoming happy on my own, something I haven't ever experienced. I don't know anything... I don't know if anyone else knows anything, I Just know I'm beginning to learn, and it is comforting. The future is still far ahead. I have battled an addiction on and off for some time now, I had put it to an end, When I unexpedectly relapsed, and saw myself for who I was thereafter. I am Now going to spend the next couple days in (not so) horrible withdrawals (as they could have been much worse) and I'm going to start my life over. I believe there is a right way to do everything, and I haven't been doing it. I have a rough time ahead of me, surgery still. But I will not let the future destroy the present. Nor the past the future. I'll be reposting a new thread in a couple days with pics, and a happier outlook. Hopefully. I don't know anything for sure, but I'm confident.
I am completely changed. I have been reading, and on this trip, I read these books that were suggested by the counselor I met in the psyche ward who read my blog that got me arrested. This combination, plus many other things has caused a shift inside me.
I am becoming self aware, I am as though for the first time, realizing I am existing and have work to keep that existence, as if existence was handed to you... It always has been... My mind is growing, catching up to the past I haven't even concieved.
I am becoming happy on my own, something I haven't ever experienced. I don't know anything... I don't know if anyone else knows anything, I Just know I'm beginning to learn, and it is comforting. The future is still far ahead. I have battled an addiction on and off for some time now, I had put it to an end, When I unexpedectly relapsed, and saw myself for who I was thereafter. I am Now going to spend the next couple days in (not so) horrible withdrawals (as they could have been much worse) and I'm going to start my life over. I believe there is a right way to do everything, and I haven't been doing it. I have a rough time ahead of me, surgery still. But I will not let the future destroy the present. Nor the past the future. I'll be reposting a new thread in a couple days with pics, and a happier outlook. Hopefully. I don't know anything for sure, but I'm confident.
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