another child custody question, concerning schooling

[DrLove'sKuDang]

i know its just opinion... but what do you folks think. i know i asked something before and there were a few of you studying this field.


anyways, my fiance is going back to court to finalize the custody papework. during this, what school their daughter will be going to, will probably be coming up, shes 2. so preschool will be starting in the next year or so.

as of right now, they have custody split down the middle. 3/4 and 4/3 alternating weeks. i assume they only consider the actual parents when deciding issues, because he will probably bring up his parents as far as monetary support is concerned. as of now, he is not working, not receiving disability and i believe, does not have insurance. this has happened a few times because of back issues from work. since birth, my fiance has been the only one to provide healthcare for their daughter. so, as far as support is concerned, she is the only one that is able to provide for their daughter.

when it comes to deciding where our baby will be during school, what will they look at? btw, her ex lives in a different district. about a 30min drive apart.

[owequitit]

i know its just opinion... but what do you folks think. i know i asked something before and there were a few of you studying this field.


anyways, my fiance is going back to court to finalize the custody papework. during this, what school their daughter will be going to, will probably be coming up, shes 2. so preschool will be starting in the next year or so.

as of right now, they have custody split down the middle. 3/4 and 4/3 alternating weeks. i assume they only consider the actual parents when deciding issues, because he will probably bring up his parents as far as monetary support is concerned. as of now, he is not working, not receiving disability and i believe, does not have insurance. this has happened a few times because of back issues from work. since birth, my fiance has been the only one to provide healthcare for their daughter. so, as far as support is concerned, she is the only one that is able to provide for their daughter.

when it comes to deciding where our baby will be during school, what will they look at? btw, her ex lives in a different district. about a 30min drive apart.

That really would be a better lawyer question. It can vary based on state law, county law, city law and of course the judge's discretion.

I would guess they will probably try to come up with an amicable solution based on both parties inputs though. They may also allow her to go to whichever school is better. I don't see this being as huge of an issue as if say you lived in San Jose and he lived in LA and they couldn't agree on where she would go.

[visualpoet]

It's going to be a touchy subject. The 3/4 4/3 split is fine now, but when she starts school full time it'll be pretty disruptive. Ideally the parents would be able to sit down and hash things out. If they can't, the courts could decide to step in and make the decision, in which case it would probably be shared parenting with the mother as residential parent and a different visitation arrangement. His parents shouldn't have any bearing at all on the case. Support isn't supposed to have any bearing on visitation either, It sucks that he can't/won't man up and fulfill his responsibilities, but that might change.

What's important is what is best for the child. In this case, I think it would be better to go to a more traditional living arrangement, i.e. the child lives with you two through the week, and then alternating weekends and a holiday schedule. It's going to be very important that she has a stable consistent home life in relation to her school, and having to get up earlier half of the time to go to school is going to be hard on her physically, mentally and emotionally. Children are resilient, but at the same time so fragile.

[DrLove'sKuDang]

It's going to be a touchy subject. The 3/4 4/3 split is fine now, but when she starts school full time it'll be pretty disruptive. Ideally the parents would be able to sit down and hash things out. If they can't, the courts could decide to step in and make the decision, in which case it would probably be shared parenting with the mother as residential parent and a different visitation arrangement. His parents shouldn't have any bearing at all on the case. Support isn't supposed to have any bearing on visitation either, It sucks that he can't/won't man up and fulfill his responsibilities, but that might change.

What's important is what is best for the child. In this case, I think it would be better to go to a more traditional living arrangement, i.e. the child lives with you two through the week, and then alternating weekends and a holiday schedule. It's going to be very important that she has a stable consistent home life in relation to her school, and having to get up earlier half of the time to go to school is going to be hard on her physically, mentally and emotionally. Children are resilient, but at the same time so fragile.

thats what were hoping for. and i know he will never agree to her being with us during the week for school. not for the fact that he thinks that little shithole "town" morgan hill has a better school system, but with the sole purpose of taking our baby away from us. he seems to act like he is more concerned with us not having her, as opposed to him having her. i know its the same thing, but its like a half full/half empty kinda deal... if that makes any sense.

would courts ever rule to have split custody during the school week? or do they always prefer to have the child at one residence throughout the week? it will be an issue, cause again, i know for a fact, he will not agree to have her be with us all week while going to school.

[visualpoet]

thats what were hoping for. and i know he will never agree to her being with us during the week for school. not for the fact that he thinks that little shithole "town" morgan hill has a better school system, but with the sole purpose of taking our baby away from us. he seems to act like he is more concerned with us not having her, as opposed to him having her. i know its the same thing, but its like a half full/half empty kinda deal... if that makes any sense.

would courts ever rule to have split custody during the school week? or do they always prefer to have the child at one residence throughout the week? it will be an issue, cause again, i know for a fact, he will not agree to have her be with us all week while going to school.

The courts aren't going to give a shit what he says. They will go with what's best for the child. I seriously do not see them awarding split custody through the week, and if he wants to be a pinhead about it, they could even decide to award her custody and him visitation.
If you guys have a lawyer (and I hope you do, since it doesn't seem like an amicable situation) talk to him, If not, grab the yellow pages and look for an attorney specializing in family law. Most of them will offer a free initial consultation, but then you're looking at about $1200-1500 for a retainer if you need to have them fight. If you can get the cash together to do that, do it.
Is she still friendly with his folks? Have her call and talk to them about it, explain how disruptive it will be to split the week, that you don't want to drag it through lawyers and court, that they will have to provide care for her when/if he gets off his ass and gets a job. It's entirely possible that they may be good allies for you.