Gf issues

[HenRoc]

Hey guys its been awhile since I posted but heres the low down...I moved to Nashua, NH to live with my gf. Its not so bad up here , I just miss my commrades..although in life...changes happen and for the better.

Recently, there was some issues I've been having with my gf Becca lately, see theres this best friend of hers named Joe. I first heard of him when I talked to Becca the first time over the phone. She has known him since they were both 7 years old..and I guess what it really comes down to is this.

Back in highschool, there were some feelings of real affections towards one another...but nothing ever came of it.

A couple nights ago, I felt like I had been punched in gut..

While I sat next to Becca on the pc, I told Becca to tell him the truth, tell him that I was black (She had told me he didn't approve of interacial dating and she was afriad of him not talking to her...but I said fuck it give it a try)...afterwards he said he was very happy for her..and if she was happy he was happy.

Then the one thing I saw coming, the one thing that really drained me...into this feeling of holding on tightly and not letting go...happened.

His feelings of all these years...came out. He mentioned he loved Becca more than a friend.

Sadly Becca told me she felt the same...about him.

Theres nothing she can say to change how I feel now...although we love each other very much..I can't seem to let this one go because it bother me alot

Everytime I think about it....I want to run some where...hide,cry(come yall its ok to cry) escape from it and not believe a single word...

I truly believe her when she told him that if it was meant to be then it was meant to be...but shes happy where she is now with me.

She has told me that she truly loves and cares about me

Becca & I know hes not gonna break us up.

I just feel lost...I moved up here to be with her and get my life going..I love her so much that I can't ever see myself without her.
Shes told me that she loves me and she has more respect for me...but I feel like this kid is a threat...I met her by chance online...and ever since we starting going out....I've never looked anywhere else...because Im happy where I am.

Hes known her for 16 fucking years...he had his chances to ask her out..but why come out now?

I asked if I could ever meet him and she said no for fear of rubbing it in his face...please if the kids happy then fucking deal with it.

Dudes I have his daunting fear over my head....I can't leave because I no longer have a place to go..my rents disowned my ass (my moms a hardcore bitch) and I lost my apartment.

I know my gf loves and respects me more than anything else in the world...we've even talked about getting married someday and having kids.

But for this kid to just come out and say it really put me down at a low...and as a cb7tuner member I'm gladly asking for advice.

Its only been 6 months but its seems to be forever...

I mean she truly loves me man...but I guess I'm just being paranoid.

Help.

[h22sparkle]

Well its like this you moved up there with here Not with him. Tell your girl if she really loves you to lose that ***** so yall can get on with your lives and be happy. ANd if you catch him on the telephone on the low call him up if you got his number and tell him like this ( yo i dont mean to be disresepectful but stop callin my house ***** shes mine . Whatever yall had in the past its ova the cooch is mine j/k just tell him that yall are both tryin to move up and for him to find himself another girl. He probably doesnt have one if hes callin that much . If you really love her also change your number and tell your wife that he (refferin to the other dude) that lets get on with our lives and be happy.


If she really loves you she wouldnt be speakin to another brutha especially one who is prejudice.try to find something to interest her mind take her out once in awhile to keep her interest. Shes probably gettin bored. Also at the same time see another female on the side nothing sexual just ask her from her opinion what would she do.

Also ask your girl that okay explain to her that your not insecure or anything but that you dont feel comfortable when hes callin and that you are always on her mind but you cant seem to get through if hes always there and you would like her attention because you wouldnt like it if the shoe was on the other foot and had some chick callin your house askin for you instead of her.

[97Lude]

to be honest, i couldn't and wouldn't date my gf if she had such strong feelings for her best friend also. I just couldn't look at her the same anymore. And trusting her would be a very hard issue.
But good luck man! Do what you feel is right in your heart

[jdm91cb]

not 2 be a dick bro but im 30 yrs old ive learned 2 always follow your gut especially when it comes 2 girls like h22 said tell her how u feel if she is trully fellin u she understand and let the past be the past but at the same time get yourself ready "EXPECT THE BEST BUT PREPARE FOR THE WORST" good luck bro

[WeDgE]

Loving someone more than a friend doesn't necessarily mean sexual love...well, for the guy it probably does, but probably not for your girl. She probably loves him more than a friend, but in a sister/brother way...I mean, if after all these years nothing happened, I'm sure she feels he is more of a brother than anything.

[Maple50175]

ahh man that sucks ur girlfriend for 6 months.. id say. i dunno.. i didnt know you live with her now. that would suck soo much if she gives u the boot out the door


but think for the best man

goodluck

[usc]

If you're willing to devote your life completely to someone, then that someone hopefully will be willing to do the same.

As for her friend having feelings for her, that's just everyday crap. It's like thousands of guys want to sleep with a particular female celebrity. Let them dream their dreams. The only difference here is you can put a face to his name. But as long as you can trust your girl and she doesn't have that kind of feeling towards him, then don't let it get to you.

Like wedge said, her love for him might not be in an "attraction/sexual" kind of way and more of a brother/sister way. But the only way to find out for sure is if you straight-out ask your girl.. Ask her if she had any regrets never going out with him, or that if she still wonders what it might be like. If she does, then that's not cool. It only shows that she's not set on you. She's been going out with you now for 6 months. If she's serious about you (and you about her), then there shouldn't be any "what-if's" going on.

And you may very well get the answer you don't want to hear. But keep your head high and you'll get through it. It's better to find out now then years down the road. And if you have to leave (you have a job), save up and find another place. Don't ever tell me you're just there with her because you have nowhere else to go (cuz your folks disowned you). Because if you put it that way, saying leaving would be an inconvenience to you, then I'm going to start losing respect for you.

[h22sparkle]

Just stack your chips meet up with other chicks on the low just incase if anything goes wrong youll always have a friend to rest your head a couple of daysuntil you get a new spot or whatever.

[br0nx finest]

Originally posted by h22sparkle
Just stack your chips meet up with other chicks on the low just incase if anything goes wrong youll always have a friend to rest your head a couple of daysuntil you get a new spot or whatever.

he is teh truth. i would post, but he covered it already.

dood, i couldn't evAr be able to deal with that shit, i covered this with my girl, and we only got 2 1/2 mos.

her best friend was tryna take her out to a cafe on a "family" occasion, then said maybe more could happen, she cut him off. i told her, even if it was a "family" occasion, i wouldn't want you there, because i'd rip his fuckin throat out, and i'm glad you made the right decision.

word, she's good.

[h22sparkle]

And besides real men dont interfere with another dudes relationship. If a chick has a man and shes faithful shell be like nah i got a man and we gotta chill on talin seein each other and any other real cat would be like nah she got a man and i dont want that shit happenin to me and would cut it off or only say hi if he sees her in the strret but it would be on a hi and goodbye.


It seems to me like the other dude really has noone in his life and is lookin to somehow interrupt the whole shit. I mean comon even though friends for a certain amount of years after awhile people move on it seems he has a bit of difficulty letting go.

[ChIoVnIdCa]

Break his neck . But seriously if you are afraid you need a back up girl if something happpens.

[h22sparkle]

you dont have any kids with her do you? if not keep it that way for a long time. I dont care how good the pussy is its like messin with the black widow with a russian roulette gun pointed at your head death by poison or just stright up death. LIve my friend live.

[HenRoc]

Thanks for all your opinions man..I really appreciate it.

Mike

Thanks a million man

Well me and my girl talked things over in the car...she asked me if I was still mad over the whole issue..so we talked it over..I told her it was just really akward how things got...and I know very well my gf loves me and respects me more than anything.


Mike pointed out a few things yesterday when we talked about it.

If my gf didn't love me this much..

1. She would have never let me move in to live with her and her dad.

2. She wouldn't have wasted her time being there for me at my greatest time of need.

3. She does things for me that no other girl I ever went out with did.

Shes told me shes friends with him no matter what and Im fine with it...like she said to him if it was meant to be then it was..but he missed out.

I know my gf would never cheat because she would never go that low.

Plus with this friend of hers...he has some flaws when it comes to relationships..he never speaks his mind...you have to force shit out of him..

My gf is the type of girl who'd rather have a guy who can communicate, has a big heart and cares alot about her that he'd be there when shes down. I have all these qualities. He doesn't.

This fool has never been there at her worst, he pops up randomly and only talks to her when he has some issues.

Last night I got woken up by a text message..I woke my gf up ( this I regret but she forgave me anyway) it was from him..I kinda flipped..I was like wtf dude its 12 am wtf is he doing texting my gf.
So she set him straight..told him he woke her up and shit...and he left her alone.

So I let bygones be bygones...and let the shit go.

We love each other to much that we can't see ourselves not being with each other.

Mike your definitly right man...meeting him would put a face on the problem and it wouldn't solve anything..thanks for supporting me man.

Thanks to all who posted there comments...you all are my commrades.

Viva La CB7!!

[jdm91cb]

good 2 hear bro hold shit down keep ya head up keep it real wit each other and nothing will fuck that up

[rebels]

Yeah man I know how you feel, just not as deep. You're older than me and at a much higher point in your life than I was. I'm only 20 years old, well I turn 20 tomorrow, but I was only 17 when this whole thing happened with my ex-girlfriend.

I felt so good about having my girlfriend because she meant everything to me and would be there for me even if she didn't approve of what I was doing.. well she just moved back into town from about 3 hours away. She had recently just broken up with her boyfriend and still had feelings for him so she was mixed up in the middle.. so I kinda had the same situation as you I broke it off with her because it made me feel like shit.. but your story is different.

It sounds like your girl loves you, and which I am sure she does.. so just keep your head up and things will work out for the best. She will come to realize, if she hasn't, that you're the best thing for her.

Just keep your head up, it's all going to work out.