Filipino "Discussion" ***A cultural learning experience for everyone***

[Grumpys93]

my girlfriend is filipino and i am trying to learn tagalog but its kinda hard =)

[JDM_EJ]

my girlfriend is filipino and i am trying to learn tagalog but its kinda hard =)

Just post in here if you want to learn how to say anything. I'll be glad to help! and so will the other tagalog speakers.

[ExplodingCake]

true that.. ..hindi ko na nga lang kukuwento yun sa lolo ko!

of corz i wont. i'll tell him if he has an transplanted iron heart. hahaha

[ExplodingCake]

LOL at the guy's persistence in trying to get over that hill.

lol , he went to the side juz to get through

[OnBBS17s]

shit. i dont know a bit of togalog. if i were to know anything it would be Elicano. but i dont know that either. that only thing i know is, elicano: botoe and togalog: putangenemo

[JaiBeezy DnB]

Im a mix of filipino, got black, chinese, portuguese and of cousre filipino. Just want to kno, its kinda hard out there for a flip. Well a mix one in fact, I feel left out in some respects , but i also want peepos to know what i am. Ahwell its a confusing scenrio i suppose. But anyways much pride for my mix and i want to learn tagalog. Also i want some lumpia some pancit and some adobo. Mom get home already lol.

[ExplodingCake]

Also i want some lumpia some pancit and some adobo.

haha cant beat those

[nghtrydr23]

musta na!! long time no post!!

[casterX]

pinoy jokes..

Pinoy Marriage = Man's life cycle...
3 to 8 years old - Paramihan ng toys
9 to 18 years old - Pataasan ng grades.
19 to 25 - Padamihan ng siyota
26 to 35 - Pagandahan ng asawa.
36 to 45 - Palakihan ng income.
46 to 55 - Padamihan ng kabit.

Theme song of married couples...
1 to 10 years - Araw-araw gabi-gabi
11 to 25 years - Saan ka man naroon
26 to 49 years - Gaano kadalas ang Minsan
50 years and up - Maalaala mo kaya

Ano sa Tagalog ang asawa? ("May bahay")
Ano naman ang kabit? ("May condo")

Medyas
Isang alalay: Boss Eddie Gil, bakit mag! kaiba ang
medyas mo? Isang
green,isang red.
Eddie Gil: Ewan ko nga kung saan ito nabili ni Misis.
May isang pares pa
ako na ganito sa bahay.

Eddie Gil Makes a Wish
Eddie Gil shows a map of the Philippines to a genie
and wishes that all
the islands be connected by fly-overs
Genie: I'm not that good. Make another wish!
Eddie Gil: Okay. Make me intelligent!
Genie: Can i see the map again?

Eddie Gil calling a hotel receptionist.
Eddie Gil: Paano ako makakalabas dito sa kuwarto ko?
Receptionist: Bakit po sir, ano pong problema sa mga
pinto?
Eddie Gil: Dalawa lang ang pinto. Ang isa pag bukas ko
banyo. 'Yung isa
naman may nakasabit na "do not disturb" ..

Medical Exam
Eddie Gil is appearing for his University final
examination. He takes his
seat in the examination hall, stares at the question
paper for five
minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his
shoes off and
throws them out of the window.
He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well.
His pants, socks
and watch follow suit. The
nurse, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going
on "Miss, I am
only following the instructions, " he says, " it says
here, "Answer the following questions in brief'."

Elevator
Eddie Villanueva: Sorry I'm late! brownout! na stuck
sa elevator for 1
hour
Eddie Gil: Wala yan ako 3 hrs sa escalator

Six or Eight
Eddie Gil calls into a take-out pizza parlor.
Pizza man: Would you like your pizza sliced into six
or eight?
Eddie Gil: Six, I don't think I could eat eight.

Ballerina!
While watching a ballerina tip toeing on stage, Eddie
Gil commented-
"Ang tanga naman ng direktor! Bakit hindi na lang sya
kumuha
ng matangkad?!"

In a coffee shop:
Eddie Gil: 1 coffee please
Waiter: Decaf, sir?
Eddie Gil: Of course! Debaso is too big and too much
for me!

Apollo 13 reporter: mr. Eddie Gil, have you watched
"Apollo 13".
Eddie Gil: no, i might not undertand it.
reporter: why??
Eddie Gil: because i wasn't able to watch Apollo part
1 to 12.

Pizzeria
While in a pizzeria.
Eddie Gil : What are your specialties?
Waiter : Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Eddie Gil : Talaga, bigyan mo nga ako ng Shakey's !!

Science Class



In a science class.
Classmate : Bakit yung airplane pag umiikot ang elisi,
uma-angat sa
lupa? Bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot, nasa mesa
pa din?
Eddie Gil : Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung bentilador may
kurdon,
pinipigilan yon!!

There was a mirror that eats liars.
pangit: I think I'm CUTE! - kinain siya.
Taba: I think I'm SEXY! - kinain siya.
Eddie Gil: I think.. - kinain na.

Kung nag-*** language lang sana sina GMA and Garci,
eh di sana walang gulo ngayon...
GMA: Hallooo Gracia!
Garci: Yes mother! Nachukchak ko na po yung mga
chuva ek-ek!
GMA: Bonggacious! Eh yung mga tienes-tienes,
carry na ba?
Garci: Winnie santos mama! Wiz na worry!
Eclavou na ever!
GMA: Ang tarush! Babush!


Erap: Pre, ang bilis ko natapos buuin yung puzzle!
Juan: Talaga pare? Gaano kabilis?
Erap: 5 months!
Juan: Ang tagal naman!
Erap Tanga! Anong matagal?!
Nakalagay nga dito "For 3 years and up!"


ERap: Lintik na ibon yon...Iniputan ako!
Guard: Sir, sandali lang po kukuha ako ng
toilet paper...
Erap: Wag na! Paano mo pa mapupunasan yung
pwet non eh nakalipad na! Tanga ka talaga!


FVR: Erap, may gift ako sayo from India....
10 feet na snake...
Erap: Ows! Niloloko mo ba ako!? Di ako ganon
katanga...wala namang feet ang snake noh!
Gagong Toh!


Erap calling emergency hotline:
Please send help asap! My daughter is giving birth
and turning blue.....
Operator: CAlm down sir! Is this her first baby?
Erap: Gago! This is her father!


Erap: Tamad! Di ba sabi ko sayo diligan mo
ang mga halaman!
Hardinero: Sir, umuulan naman po kasi eh!
Erap: Magpapalusot ka pa! Tanga!.....
Eh di magkapote ka!


Erap: Doc, I accidentally swalloed a chicken bone!
Doctor: Is it choking?
Erap: No doc. It's Max's!
Doctor: I didn't mean chowking. I said, are you
choking?
Erap: No doc, I'm serious!


GMA: I'm planning to stop poverty and mass starvation.
Erap: Alam mo Gloria..yung poverty madaling pigilin...
pero ang MAsturbation...Aba eh magisip-isip ka muna...
human rights violation yan!


Erap: Lintik na shampoo to ayaw bumula
Maid: Sir eh hindi pa po basa buhok niyo
Erap : eh for Dry Hair nga eh.


Naliligo si Erap ng biglang lumindol... Taranta siyang
lumabas
na hubo't hubad......
Guard: Sir, may nakalimutan po ata kayong suotin....
Erap: Ay shet! ang Wristband ko!.. Oh No!

[JDM_EJ]

^^^HAHAHAHA

[casterX]

BUMP for The Jologs Dictionary!

The Jologs Dictionary note: if you dont know this....well your not
IN..probably your a complete jologs.You need to memorized this by
heart....itayo natin ang ating bandera at ipaglaban ang karapatan.....
excess:
hay naku ang Piipino ay para sa mga PINOY...ito ang tropa ko at dito ako belong.....gma or abs-cbn?coke o pepsi? ano ba talaga mrt o lrt?...ah ewan basta ang alam ko TAO ako at tao rin kayo ciguro...nagsimula sa wala lahat....hehehehe!!!!!!!! enjoy sa pagbabasa nito!!!


Alpombra - (al-pom-bra) n. multi colored sandals with
a thick and tough strap made of cloth, it has shiny
nuggets of metal imitation flakes glued to the cloth strap; this type
of footwear was intended for women but the usual people who fancy
thisfootwear are the men who have no sandals, they stole it from their
lolas and mothers.


Apipak - (a-pee-phak) n. three to four strands of hair foundon top of
the big toe.

Askal - (ass-khal) n. the highway breed of dogs.

Asogue - (ass-oh-geh) n. armpit hairs.

Baklog - (bhak-log) n. a homosexual johlog; they are
inclined to dressing up like girls and the are known to pay *** sex or
some chupchup.

Baktol - (bhak-tol) n. third level of armpit stench;
the odor is similar to a rotten guava; the nature of this
smell is tostick to the clothes and mix with the sweat, this is
the usual odor of the atmosphere during UP registration.

Baktong - (bhak-tohng) n. nipples darting through
clothing;
best seen when wet.

Banil - (bah-neel) n. dark line found at the back of
the neck of obese people, this line resembles that of libag although
this line is permanent.

Barnakol - (bar-na-kol) n. germs and dirt collectively
found at the back of the neck and has not been washed for a
long period of time.

Buffalo - (boo-fah-low) n. a pseudo-male homosexual
person.

Bulastog - (boo-las-tog) n. the bigger version of
Tuknene; usually the egg is hardboiled, but in some cases it is
found to be the egg of Balut or the egg of Penoy; coņo individuals
call it 'dough egg'.

Bultokatchi - (bul-to-kah-tsi) n. splash of water
hitting the buttocks, created when feces falls down the toilet
bowl and hits the water hard.

Buris - (boo-rees) n. watery discharge from the anus,
happens when feces is stuck inside the long intestine
for a long
period and what is supposed to be hard crap becomes a
watery crap;
the anus becomes like a faucet of shit.

Burnik - (boor-nick) n. the hairs outside the ring of
your anus; can also be found under the scrotum balls,
it is usually where excess tidbits of feces hang from.

Butuytuy - (boo-tooi-tooi) n. small penis belonging to
a child.

Champion - (chyam-pyon) n. refers to a person who has,
according to buffalos, 'admirable qualities'; adj.
something exotic.

Chikchak - (tshik-tshak) v. to eat; part of the ***
lingo, anyone caught using this verb is assumed a *** johlog
or most commonly known as baklog.

Chicklog - (tshik-lohg) n. female johlog.

Chupchup - (tshup-tshup) v. to kiss, to suck, to lick;
part of the *** lingo, anyone caught using this word is
definitely a baklog.

Coņolog - (kon-yoh-log) n. a rich person having
qualities of
a johlog, no breeding.

Haliparot - (hah-lee-pah-rot) n. gayish ***.

Iskabru - (ees-kah-bruh) n. dirt found under the
female breasts; syn. kukurikabu.

Jabbar - (ja-bar-r) adj. first level of armpit stench,
the body obtains excessive sweat.

Jabongga - (dja-bong-ga) v. to have sex.

Jigoy - (dji-ghoy) v. to masturbate.

Johlog - (dyho-lohg) n. v. adj. adv. v.t. bibl. eccl.
colloq. derog. the past, the future, the present, similar to Fido Dido,
words cannot describe its essence, champion!!! panalo!!!

Kaboodel - (ka-bu-del) n. booger.

Kachichas - (ka-chi-chas) n. the unbearable odor
reeking from the feet of an individual who has bad foot hygiene.

Kahoy - (kah-hoy) n. an erect penis.

Kalamantutay - (ka-la-man-tuh-tay) n. name which gives
off a very disturbing odor.

Kito - (kee-tô) v. to have sex.

Kukurikabu - (koo-koo-ree-ka-boo) n. germs and dirt
found collectively under the female breasts; caused by
excess baby powder applied to the body, most of the time it is the
result of not taking baths; carriers are mostly women with big
breasts.

Kuntil - (koon-tihl) n. excess skin found outside the
ear, it is shaped like the spikes of a massage slipper.

Kuskusin - (khoos-khoos-een) n. stupid person; adj.
stupid, syn. shabu.

Kuyog - (kuh-yhog) v. hitting the head of a person to
the point of beating that individual to death; experts of
this type of kung-fu belong to the fraternities of Farmers, Manuela
and Jaloux.

Kuyukot - (kuh-yuh-khot) n. male penis, tumbong.

Kwek-kwek - (kwhek-kwhek) n. fried quail eggs wrapped
in dough with orange food coloring.

McArthur - (mac-ar-tur) n. a nugget of feces which
comes back after flushing.

Mulmol - (mhul-mhul) n. hair strategically located on
the center of a mole, it is difficult to remove even if
plucking were applied, the most effective process of removal known
is that of the laser.

Ngotngot - (ngot-ngot) n. the spiral cord of a
telephone.

Nicotine - (ni-ko-tin) n. yellow stain marks located
in front of the underwear, it is caused by dried
excretions of urine and in some cases semen.

Ormot - (ur-mot) n. skid marks; dark colored streaks
found under the underwear belonging to individuals who have
crapping problems.

Pakaplog - (pa-kap-log) n. Filipino breakfast,
pandesal - kape - itlog; v. to touch a woman's breast in a favor
type manner.

Panalo - (pa-na-lo) n. a bigger and better champion.

Pasas - (pa-sas) n. nipples belonging to an old woman.

Pido - (pee-do) n. a person who "loves" children.

Pilahan - (pee-la-han) v. to gang rape.

Piso-piso - (pee-so-pee-sow) adj. describes the legs
of a girl with numerous scars resembling one peso coins.

Puyukot - (puh-yuh-khot) n. small round pieces of
feces similar that of a cat's.

Retaretarded - (re-ta-re-tar-ded) adj. describes a
person who is one and a half stupid.

Shabu - (sha-booh) adj. describes what happens to your
brain when you are having a conversation with the likes of
Nbrit's sister, conversations like these cause the brain to
melt and the nose to bleed because of overwhelming english; n.
person who appears to have no brains.

Smakatum - (smak-ka-tuhm) n. dirt found inside or
outside the ears.

Spakaldum - (spah-kal-doom) n. hairs found on the
female nipple.

Sprikitik - (spree-kee-tik) n. germs and dirt found
collectively on the wristwatch, caused by occasional
sprays of perfume on the wrists which give the latter adhesive
qualities and a magnetic reaction towards dirt.

Squaconlog - (skwa-kon-log) n. a skwater person
dressing up like a rich person but the natural aura of being a
johlog is obviously exemplified.

Squalog - (skwa-log) n. the worst kind of a johlog,
this person has no respect at all for anything.

Tabuge - (tah-buh-ghe) n. feces which is round shaped.

Tang - (tang) n. watery feces which splashes on the
cheeks
of a person's buttocks.

Tangbururot - (tang-bu-ru-rot) n. tang with small
chunky
pieces.

Tarugo - (tah-ru-go) n. penis having a dark shaded
color, oftentimes the color is dark violet or for Afro-Americans,
black.

Tigidig - (tee-gee-deeg) n. pimples.

Tobol - (to-bol) n. long hard piece of feces.

Toneng - (to-neng) n. sex.

Tripoktik - (tree-pok-teek) n. final droplets of urine
after taking a piss, those that do not drop are left to dry
on the underwear which after a few hours turns into nicotine.

Tuknene - (thuk-ne-ne) n. fried hardboiled quail eggs
wrapped with orange dough, in some areas it is called
Kwek-kwek, in the provinces it is referred to as
Tiokneneng(chuk-ne-neng).

Tutyang - (tut-yang) n. the hairs found in the insides
of the nose, these hairs usually stick out.

Warrior - (wo-ri-yor) n. suspicious looking character,
a person associated with rumbles, holdups,
pick-pocketing, rugby and solvent sniffing. purse snatching, and kikil,
they
always come in groups.

Weneklek - (whe-nhe-klhek) n. hairs found around the
nipple, usually on the areola area.

[bowzil]

Im a mix of filipino, got black, chinese, portuguese and of cousre filipino. Just want to kno, its kinda hard out there for a flip. Well a mix one in fact, I feel left out in some respects , but i also want peepos to know what i am. Ahwell its a confusing scenrio i suppose. But anyways much pride for my mix and i want to learn tagalog. Also i want some lumpia some pancit and some adobo. Mom get home already lol.

Pancit and lumpia are food, right? Because I think Indonesian have the same name for those foods. Any pictures? Maybe they are the same foods.

[JDM_EJ]

This is pancit...




almost like chow mein

and this is lumpia...




almost like egg rolls...but a little different...

[uncle_el]

my girlfriend is filipino and i am trying to learn tagalog but its kinda hard =)

some basics:

maganda ka- you're pretty
mahal kita- i love you
maganda umaga- good morning
maganda japon - good afternoon
maganda gabeh - good night
paalam na - good bye
magkita tayo bukas - see you tomorrow

i only know a little more, but i do ok for a non-filipino.

btw, in star wars, return of the jedi, the ewoks speak a little tagalog! i think they also speak hindi and some other languages as well. for instance, when shooting the storm troopers, they say "patay"- dead!

[bowzil]

This is pancit...




almost like chow mein

and this is lumpia...




almost like egg rolls...but a little different...

Lumpia is the same as Indonesian Lumpia but as for pancit we called it pangsit and this is what pangsit looks like: