Originally posted by LadyG94CB7
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Originally posted by LadyG94CB7
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I was married to the first wife for 14 years, and we had some horrible fights. I've called her everything you can imagine, accused her of things she was and was not guilty of, we've both done damn near every mean thing you can do in a fight short of actual physical combat. We both knew how to push the other one's buttons until it was all I could do to restrain myself from physical violence and I would have to sometimes move her out of my way as gently as I possibly could so I could leave before I started hitting her. I've said things to her that I was immediately ashamed of.
If what you said was wrong; apologize and leave it the fuck alone.
If what you said was true, but could have been phrased differently; apologize for the way you said it and leave it the fuck alone.
If she's acting as Lady G says ^, then treat her the same way you treat a child having a tantrum. Be calm, but firm, tell her that you have issues you two need to discuss but not while she's acting this way, then turn around and leave her the fuck alone, for a while.
I'd also recommend that you two seek counseling. Trust issues are a bastard to get over, I know. I'm still dealing with trust issues from the women in my past, and It's WAY too easy to project those on your current partner. The Muse and I went through a tough spot before I got on my meds because I was letting the past affect my trust of her.
She may also be having issues, and sometimes the only way two people can work something out is with a mediator. Try your pastor (if you go to church) or look for marital counseling in the yellow pages. You may even be able to find a free help group with other couples having the same problems.
As always, if you need to talk, hit me up. If you don't have my number (for some reason I think you do ) PM me and I'll give it to you.
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